An Interview With Dr Namgge.

(There was an interview with That Thing before in the Spam board, so this'll mean that he'll be the first person on VR to be interviewed twice.)

*An Interview With Dr Namgge.*
Questions by David-James and Strawberry.

Who are your bestest Mega-ziners ever?
Paddy Irishman's prolly my fav. He just has this surreal juxtaposition in his letters. Though Farmer Jack was also capable of it, Paddy just did it better.

Who are your bestest Mega-ziners at the moment?
That's a good question, and not one I can answer, in part due to barely reading, and just randomly sending. Colin's can be good, and there's a certain charm about the Sprinkles the Cat letters DJ does.

Which Mega-ziners do you think are really bad and annoying?
The Barking Tree, or whatever his name is, y'know the one that refuses to accept that he isn't actually a tree.

Which Mega-ziners have influenced all your letters?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say none. A lot of my letters, at least pre-edit, read like office memos, legal documents, or other formal communications. Lot of business non-speak goes into them.

Where does the inspiration for your letters come from?
Ah balls, just answerred this above.

What types of letters do you think are really neat and cool?
Anything original, or joke based. I'm not a fan of letters that are just counters to pointless arguments, or letters that read "hey look I'm zany". Any letter that flat out bribes WLW to appear are also a bit...ehh...in my book, unless they're funny.

Creative and ignored or boring and famous?
Already creative and ignored. It's famously boring. So I'll go with boring and famous, because I could get creative in trying to be ignored.

If you'd never found 'Zine, what would you be like now?
Let's see, 'Zine led to VR, which lead to personal life dramas, crisises (SP?), and a lot of personal and emotional growth. So as things are now I'd prolly still be deluded as I was when I was seventeen, though more bitter about my own life. Certainly would've just meant I'd play more videogames in my spare time than forum posting. Definitely would live an entirely isolated life. Can't tell you if that's better or worse right now.
Of course, that's assuming I wouldn't sign up to another forum when I was younger. Hell, I could've got into STC-O much sooner, mingled more there, and maybe be a mod there now. It's all a giant "what if", but whatever way you look at it, 'Zine had far more influence on me, by way of VR, than anything else since I was 16 has.

Megazine or 'Zine or The 'Zine?
Megazine. 'Zine for shorthand, never "The 'Zine", God that sounds so indie passé (and I sound a 'tard for saying "indie passé). Does anyone even refer to it as such?

Howcome you made lots of Comic Critic letters?
Was reading a letter by someone saying some comedy programme was funny, and wanted to slam it. Sent the letter and stuck Comic Critic on because at the time I was trying to put Dr Namgge on vacation. This was back when I was younger, and thought of Dr Namgge as a character, not a pseudonym. Yeah, I was a bit stupid...anyway, Comic Critic got printed, got replied to, and it made sense to use that name to criticise comedies.

Fudge or Skittles?
Fudge. You just can't beat a good chunk of vanilla fudge.

Which is your bestest Simpsons character?
I always answer this with Maggie. Not because I like Maggie, but because she's pretty much the forgotten Simpson, and very few episodes seem to concern her. However, truth be told there's so many characters in The Simpsons that I like that I can't really think of any I dislike. Well, bar certain cameos, but that's different.

What is your favourite Simpsons episode?
The one where Homer sees an alien. It's just full of throwaway gags, lots of one liners, and some brilliant parodies. The entire plot is so empty and so little actually happens that it gets away with it. One of the problems of the more recent plot-centric episodes is that they try to cram too much in. The alien episode got the balance perfect, as did many other episodes pre series 8

What are you bestest books and movies and bands?
Best book is a hard question. I don't read a lot, if anything, and I haven't read an actual story book for ages. Reading's not on my agenda really. Should be but isn't. Though I do like Scot Adam's Dilbert books. Not the comic strip anthologies, but books like "The Dilbert Principle", "The Dilbert Future", "The Joy of Work" etc... They're pretty good.
Movies again, not a big film goer. I really should do more film going and/or book reading. I'm going to say my favourite genre is the parody though. Films like the Naked Gun trilogy, the two Hot Shots films, Spy Hard, films of that ilk are good. Not the recent wave of ones though. I never saw them, but things like Epic Movie look so bad they hurt.
As for bands; Electric Six. Synthesizers, decent vocalist, songs that are for comedic effect, but not obviously comedy that is only good cos it's funny, and songs that are filthy, but not in a "my mom would hate to listen to this" way.

Howcome you like Sonic the Hedgehog things so much?
Eheheh. I don't like all Sonic the Hedgehog things. But then a lot of the fanbase hates much of the Sonic stuff. For instance Shadow the Hedgehog sucks. The unofficially official continuation of Fleetway's STC sucks so hard (mostly because of the editor, the c*ntbucket).
But I love the older games. I love to run through Sonic 3 & Knuckles just for kicks, even though I've beaten that game so many times I could do it without thinking. I love to read through old books and comics. I just grew to like Sonic when I was younger, and never grew out of it. Now a fanfic writer, I love working in the Sonic universe, 'cos so much is vague, and yet there's still so many options. It's a surprisingly flexible universe to write in, and the shallowness of the official characters makes it easy to twist them to what depth you need.

Tails or Knuckles?
Knuckles. No question. 'Cos Tails sucks so f*cking much. Seriously, he's just a genius mechanic who happens to be Sonic's sidekick at only eight years old. Yet his character is just so irritating to me. It's all optimism mixed with a total lack of confidence. Cannot stand Tails, though his flying ability can't be ignored in S3&K. I ain't much of a fan of Knuckles mind. Thinking about it, the only actual character I like in Sonic, is Dr Robotnik.

What are your bestest video games ever?
I'll name five non-Sonic ones. In no order, Burnout 3: Takedown, Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, Prince Of Persia: The Sands of Time, Ratchet And Clank, Tony Hawk's Underground.
Best Sonic game is Sonic & Knuckles, or if you count it as one game and not two, Sonic 3 & Knuckles.

Which is your bestest Pokémon?
Alakazam. Though generation three introduced Metang which I think is the best looking of all.

Ninjas or Pirates?
Ninjas. Pirates are too meh worthy. Ninjas have that discipline thing, and just look cooler.

Do you want to be an astronaut?
Nope. If space travel became easier, then I'd go, but I don't have the physical calibur for astronauts, and I wouldn't bother to put the effort in.

Why should you use all your superpowers for evil?
Because heroes are boring. Seriously, who wants to go around saving the day. Sure you get respect, and lots of freebies, but as a villian you can just take that stuff, and do it without a care in the world. Heroes have to worry about who they're hurting, villains can just say "mwahahaha" to it all, and kill anyone without a thought.

Do you think there is a tiny alien inside your head like in "Men in Black"?
No. But I tell the people who ask "How do you all cope with working in the cold?" that all the staff are actually penguins in robotic exo-skeletons. If there's anything in my head, it's a brain, and some fluids.

Are you really worried you are a werewolf, but you never realise at-all?
Not in the slightest. If I am a werewolf, then meh, I'll deal with it if and/or when it becomes an issue.

Please can you tell everyone a secret secret about you?
I can do that yes. But I don't want to.

...

... oh alright then. I actually enjoy reading through a wrestling magazine called "Powerslam" even though I don't care for wrestling at all.

Name something really popular that you hate.
First Person Shooters. Every other game nowadays seems to be one, and I just can't get into the genre. I've tried before, and I just don't enjoy it. Sucking at them, doesn't help much mind.

Name something really hated that you like.
Err, Sonic? Truth be told I don't keep upto date with what is and isn't popular outside of very small circles, and I can't think of anything I like that I know is hated by a lot of people. I suck at knowing what's going on in the world around me.

Penguins or polar bears?
Penguins. For reasons I mentioned above about being able to fit one into a robotic human suit. Plus, when was the last time you ate a polar bear chocolate bar? Exactly, thus penguins win.

When were you last in hospital?
Two years ago. My brother went in for knee surgery for the day, and I stayed with him. I've never been to hospital otherwise, save for being born. Massive fate tempt that.

Were you disappointed that you didn't get a birthday thread this year? (i thought about making you one, but i remember that, in 2007, you asked me not to).
Not in the slightest. Around about a week before my birthday I changed the date in my profile, to make my birthday appear in April, not March. Figured nobody would remember if they didn't see it on the calender. I didn't want anyone aknowledging my birthday at all. Plan failed though. Shame.

If you appeared on Jerry Springer, what would your episode be about?
"Freaky Fetishes". That or "Honey, I'd find you sexier if you..."

What film is the most similar to your life?
Shaun Of The Dead. No my life's not full of zombies, but I act a fair bit like the title character. We're both hopeless losers, doing meanial jobs, and coasting by. Then when disaster strikes we're not important part, but we both want to do what we can to help others, so we form plans. Unfortunately, they're never that well thought out, and usually despite our intentions we inevitably doom those we're trying to save, before being rescued ourselves by an old flame, who had actually done something with herself. Then when it's all over, we all go back to life as normal, having taking nothing from the experience, and trying to continue exactly as was, even though that's not technically possible anymore.

Who or what has been the biggest failure in your life?
I'm my own biggest failure. Though it doesn't help that the universe is out to get me. To be honest, I want to pin this on someone else, but it is me. Didn't try, didn't succeed, didn't try to change that, still didn't succeed, still not going to do owt to fix it, despite wanting to, and thus still won't get it sorted. Shame, I had potential once.

Do you suffer fools?
Err what? I don't even know what this means.

Oh gosh - it is like, do you tolerate silly and annoying things?
Oh I see. God no. I find dealing with stupid people incredibly frustrating. Which makes everyday life a chore, cos I'm f*cking surrounded by them. I can deal with silliness, but stupidity literally makes me want to punch people. I'm not phased if someone people don't know certain things, but when even the basics like adding up, and more importantly common sense for things which are mind numbingly obvious, really frustrate me. Of course I'm a massive hypocrite on this one.

Would you accept a million pounds to leave the country and never set foot in it again?
Damn straight I would. I mean I would stay in the UK given the choice, just because it's got a good climate, and I don't have to learn a new language to be prepared, but if I was given the money under the condition I left the country, I would be gone in a second. Quite a lot of stuff I'd do for enough money to start anew, so it's not that shocking.

Do you want a Tardis? Whereabouts do you really want to go? Also, who do you really want to be your assistant?
If I had a Tardis I'd probably only go forward to next saturday, to make a note of the week's winning lottery numbers, buy the winning ticket, and then live with the money. Wouldn't be tempted to explore history, I'd be too worried about accidentally erasing my own existance. The future would be an option, but I can't imagine it gets much better.
As for my assistant. Neh, I wouldn't have an assistant. I'd just take people I knew places, for free, and in near enough an instant, rather than wait on trains and stuff. I'd use the tardis as a mode of transport, not as a way to explore.

What is your earliest memory?
I was two, and I saw a birdcage, and I asked my mom why we had a birdcage when we didn't have a bird, and she told me that my older brother was getting a bird for his birthday.

Who are you closest to in your family?
Is none of them an acceptable answer? No. Well then I'll go with my brother, he's the one I've got most in common with. But despite sharing a room, we're about as close as Pluto and Mercury. My family aren't a close family.

If aliens asked you to live on their planet for 5 years, would you go?
It would depend on the aliens. If I thought they wanted to eat me, no. If I thought they wanted to just have a human in a zoo, then ehh, maybe, depending if they met my needs during. If they were a bunch of sexy aliens who just wanted me for breeding then when the hell is blast off? My biggest concern would be what I would do with myself once those five years were over, and I returned to this dump of a planet.

With which historical figures do you identify?
None. Because I was never any good at history at school. Seldom did any. In year four they put me in an advanced math class that happened when everyone did history, years five and six were just things like the second world war, and bar the big names (Hitler and Churchill) no names were even mentioned, and no personalities discussed. After that 'til I dropped it at the end of year nine, history was the single most boring less