The Best Of Zine...
Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:
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You! Me! Milkshakes!
Alan won the SaturdayShowcase: Reloaded in May 2005.
He got 7 out of 14 votes.
Well done!
RADIO
I suppose I won't be getting a shout out on hospital radio.
It's a pity. My dream has always been to have my pseudonym twittered out in an inane fashion to some coma victims. I suppose that shall never come to pass, unless my letter to Jimmy Saville comes through.
He never fixed it for me.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic
Cynic by name
JIMMY SAVILLE FAN BY NATURE. CRAZY
He got 7 out of 14 votes.
Well done!
RADIO
I suppose I won't be getting a shout out on hospital radio.
It's a pity. My dream has always been to have my pseudonym twittered out in an inane fashion to some coma victims. I suppose that shall never come to pass, unless my letter to Jimmy Saville comes through.
He never fixed it for me.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic
Cynic by name
JIMMY SAVILLE FAN BY NATURE. CRAZY
![[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/591931.jpg]](http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/591931.jpg "http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/591931.jpg")
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Dissimulation won Saturday showcase: Revolutions in June 2005.
He got 5 out of 13 votes.
Yay! Well done!
HOW TO GET PRINTED.
Denial: "It's been 8 months since you sent your letter and your confident it won't be much longer until printed".
Anger: "If WLW won't print me, I'll go pull faces at all the giraffes I see".
Bargaining: Involving Jaffa Cakes, a soul and an over-zealous devil.
Depression: "Am I really less amusing than Spiky Stuy?"
Acceptance: "Oh well, perhaps I should get myself one of those life things".
So WLW ... how are you for Jaffa Cakes.
Dissimulation (bargaining).
Oh my FAVOURITE 'ziner! You must
HAVE HAD THE WRONG ADDRESS *MUNCH...*
He got 5 out of 13 votes.
Yay! Well done!
HOW TO GET PRINTED.
Denial: "It's been 8 months since you sent your letter and your confident it won't be much longer until printed".
Anger: "If WLW won't print me, I'll go pull faces at all the giraffes I see".
Bargaining: Involving Jaffa Cakes, a soul and an over-zealous devil.
Depression: "Am I really less amusing than Spiky Stuy?"
Acceptance: "Oh well, perhaps I should get myself one of those life things".
So WLW ... how are you for Jaffa Cakes.
Dissimulation (bargaining).
Oh my FAVOURITE 'ziner! You must
HAVE HAD THE WRONG ADDRESS *MUNCH...*
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Paddy Irishman won Saturday Showcase3 in August 2005.
He got 3 out of 8 votes.
Well Done!
JUST ONE WISH.
While walking along, I kicked an empty cola can. Suddenly, out popped a genie! He said I could have one wish, but I could not wish for money. So, I sold him and the can for some money.
I like defying rules. Like the time I defied gravity.
But that's a less interesting story.
Paddy Irishman.
A genie in a can? Quick...
SOMEONE CALL CHRISTINA AGUILERA
He got 3 out of 8 votes.
Well Done!
JUST ONE WISH.
While walking along, I kicked an empty cola can. Suddenly, out popped a genie! He said I could have one wish, but I could not wish for money. So, I sold him and the can for some money.
I like defying rules. Like the time I defied gravity.
But that's a less interesting story.
Paddy Irishman.
A genie in a can? Quick...
SOMEONE CALL CHRISTINA AGUILERA
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Alex won Saturday Showcase IV: A New Hope in August 2005.
He got 4 out of 10 votes.
Well done!
FAKE TAN.
For a while now I've worried myself into a goo about fake tan. People say it's just something you rub into your skin adding a bronzed tone, but how do they then extract the sun's beams from the sun, and turn them into actualized cream and then store it in the bottles?
The sun is like a coiled beast in waiting - if we mess with it, then we can only blame ourselves for the havoc it will no doubt wreak.
Stuttercut
Did that happen to REM at Live 8?
IT TURNED MICHAEL STRIPE'S FACE BLUE
He got 4 out of 10 votes.
Well done!
FAKE TAN.
For a while now I've worried myself into a goo about fake tan. People say it's just something you rub into your skin adding a bronzed tone, but how do they then extract the sun's beams from the sun, and turn them into actualized cream and then store it in the bottles?
The sun is like a coiled beast in waiting - if we mess with it, then we can only blame ourselves for the havoc it will no doubt wreak.
Stuttercut
Did that happen to REM at Live 8?
IT TURNED MICHAEL STRIPE'S FACE BLUE
You! Me! Milkshakes!
1929 won Saturday Showcase:Redemption in September 2005.
He got 4 out of 10 votes.
Well done!
WALLPAPER
Which Sir Isaac Einstein was it who first thought about putting paper on their walls? It just seems a bit odd. You wouldn't put cardboard or papier mache on the walls now would you? Also, isn't paper extremely flammable and one of the last things you'd like on your wall in a house fire?
I mean why don't we just slap on the paraffin, spark up and have done with it, eh? Wallpaper... IDIOT-paper more likes.
1929
You do know, 1929, that those
SPICE GIRLS POSTERS ALSO COUNT AS PAPER
He got 4 out of 10 votes.
Well done!
WALLPAPER
Which Sir Isaac Einstein was it who first thought about putting paper on their walls? It just seems a bit odd. You wouldn't put cardboard or papier mache on the walls now would you? Also, isn't paper extremely flammable and one of the last things you'd like on your wall in a house fire?
I mean why don't we just slap on the paraffin, spark up and have done with it, eh? Wallpaper... IDIOT-paper more likes.
1929
You do know, 1929, that those
SPICE GIRLS POSTERS ALSO COUNT AS PAPER
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Martin won Saturday Showcase:The Bloodening in October.
He got 3 out of 8 votes.
Well done!
JOB SEEKING
I would like to apply for the position of Dr Nick. My
qualifications are:
- I have a friend called Nick. Well... he's called Ben. But his dog is called Nick AND he's a doctor!
- Or was it a cat? Can cats be doctors?
- Hold on, now I think about it he said his name was Bill.
Am I hired?
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning
Clearly perfect for the job of
HELPING UNTANGLE MUDDLED TEEN MINDS
He got 3 out of 8 votes.
Well done!
JOB SEEKING
I would like to apply for the position of Dr Nick. My
qualifications are:
- I have a friend called Nick. Well... he's called Ben. But his dog is called Nick AND he's a doctor!
- Or was it a cat? Can cats be doctors?
- Hold on, now I think about it he said his name was Bill.
Am I hired?
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning
Clearly perfect for the job of
HELPING UNTANGLE MUDDLED TEEN MINDS
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Lara Croft won Saturday Showcase:There and back again in November.
She got 4 out of 11 votes.
Well done!
PROCRASTINATION #2.
Yes, yet again I am sat here trying to do some homework, and yet again Mr May is bothering me.
No Brian, I will not straighten your hair.
Yes, I know your fingers are getting stuck in it.
Yes, I know you look silly becasue your missus has the same hair as you.
What?
Yes, yes, I thought you'd never ask!
Lara Croft (currently Googling train tickets to Gretna Green).
Oh my goodness, has he given
YOU A MATCHING 'DO?
She got 4 out of 11 votes.
Well done!
PROCRASTINATION #2.
Yes, yet again I am sat here trying to do some homework, and yet again Mr May is bothering me.
No Brian, I will not straighten your hair.
Yes, I know your fingers are getting stuck in it.
Yes, I know you look silly becasue your missus has the same hair as you.
What?
Yes, yes, I thought you'd never ask!
Lara Croft (currently Googling train tickets to Gretna Green).
Oh my goodness, has he given
YOU A MATCHING 'DO?
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Paddy Irishman and Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex both won Saturday Showcase:The Curse of the Black Pearl in December 2005.
They both got 3 out of 9 votes.
Yay! Well dones!
BACKCHATTERS.
It seems that we may be about to suffer (literally) from an influx of Backchatters. If you are one of those Backchatters, here is a list of rules you must follow:
* Don't send letters by snail mail
* Do not send e-mails
* Do not send any texts
* Do not write to Zine... ever
Paddy Irishman
Crikey, I thought us Ziners were
ALL ABOUT TOGETHERNESS? NO? OH, OKAY
-----
THE HOOBS.
The other day, I got up early for work. I had some time, so I watched The Hoobs for a while. While watching it, something occurred to me.
Hoobnet seems to only consist of stories about bugs and sheep. You never see them downloading rude hoob pictures or illicitly downloading music. Kids these days need to see the consequences of a life of crime.
Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex
Grey Wolf, you really are a
SHADY CHARACTER, AREN'T YOU?
They both got 3 out of 9 votes.
Yay! Well dones!
BACKCHATTERS.
It seems that we may be about to suffer (literally) from an influx of Backchatters. If you are one of those Backchatters, here is a list of rules you must follow:
* Don't send letters by snail mail
* Do not send e-mails
* Do not send any texts
* Do not write to Zine... ever
Paddy Irishman
Crikey, I thought us Ziners were
ALL ABOUT TOGETHERNESS? NO? OH, OKAY
-----
THE HOOBS.
The other day, I got up early for work. I had some time, so I watched The Hoobs for a while. While watching it, something occurred to me.
Hoobnet seems to only consist of stories about bugs and sheep. You never see them downloading rude hoob pictures or illicitly downloading music. Kids these days need to see the consequences of a life of crime.
Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex
Grey Wolf, you really are a
SHADY CHARACTER, AREN'T YOU?
You! Me! Milkshakes!
*Up to January 2006*
- Saturday Showcase Wins.
Evil Tongs (18/10/2003).
Caged Liberty (25/10/2003).
The Hoopiest Frood (1/11/2003).
Caged Liberty (8/11/2003).
Farmer Jack (15/11/2003).
Little Blue Fox (22/11/2003).
Elusive Moose (29/11/2003).
Clive Eats Alligators (13/5/2004).
Freshley Squeezed Cynic (May 2005).
Dissimulation (June 2005).
Paddy Irishman (July 2005).
Stuttercut (August 2005).
1929 (September 2005).
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning (October 2005).
Lara Croft (November 2005).
Paddy Irishman and Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex (December 2005).
- Saturday Showcase Nominations.
Caged Liberty - 4.
Lilac Leopard - 4.
Stuttercut and Topper - 4.
Paddy Irishman - 4.
Freshley Squeezed Cynic - 3.
Big Bob Flapper - 3.
Elden Ray - 3.
Vigilante Maelstrom - 3.
Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex - 3.
Little Blue Fox - 2.
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning - 2.
Farmer Jack - 2.
Evil Tongs - 1.
Jingle - 1.
Pablo Marmite - 1.
Not a Trendie, Not One Of You Either - 1.
The Hoopiest Frood - 1.
DJ Dave - 1.
Broken Bubbles - 1.
The One With Little Significance - 1.
Apologetic Breadstick - 1.
Gnuffo - 1.
Satan's Rubber Duck - 1.
Elusive Moose - 1.
Clive Eats Alligators - 1.
HP Baaxter - 1.
The Suited Stranger - 1.
Aphra the Postmodern Spy - 1.
Numberthree - 1.
Yeahyeahyeah - 1.
WLW - 1.
Dissimulation - 1.
Delirium Trigger - 1.
IceBlink Luck's Hatful of Hollow T-shirt - 1.
Satan's Little Helper - 1.
Smerker - 1.
Daddypoos - 1.
Enchanted Rose - 1.
Squashed Strawberry, Hector's House - 1.
Lara Croft - 1.
Llama Farmer - 1.
Luco El Loco - 1.
Love-In-Idleness - 1.
- Saturday Showcase Wins.
Evil Tongs (18/10/2003).
Caged Liberty (25/10/2003).
The Hoopiest Frood (1/11/2003).
Caged Liberty (8/11/2003).
Farmer Jack (15/11/2003).
Little Blue Fox (22/11/2003).
Elusive Moose (29/11/2003).
Clive Eats Alligators (13/5/2004).
Freshley Squeezed Cynic (May 2005).
Dissimulation (June 2005).
Paddy Irishman (July 2005).
Stuttercut (August 2005).
1929 (September 2005).
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning (October 2005).
Lara Croft (November 2005).
Paddy Irishman and Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex (December 2005).
- Saturday Showcase Nominations.
Caged Liberty - 4.
Lilac Leopard - 4.
Stuttercut and Topper - 4.
Paddy Irishman - 4.
Freshley Squeezed Cynic - 3.
Big Bob Flapper - 3.
Elden Ray - 3.
Vigilante Maelstrom - 3.
Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex - 3.
Little Blue Fox - 2.
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning - 2.
Farmer Jack - 2.
Evil Tongs - 1.
Jingle - 1.
Pablo Marmite - 1.
Not a Trendie, Not One Of You Either - 1.
The Hoopiest Frood - 1.
DJ Dave - 1.
Broken Bubbles - 1.
The One With Little Significance - 1.
Apologetic Breadstick - 1.
Gnuffo - 1.
Satan's Rubber Duck - 1.
Elusive Moose - 1.
Clive Eats Alligators - 1.
HP Baaxter - 1.
The Suited Stranger - 1.
Aphra the Postmodern Spy - 1.
Numberthree - 1.
Yeahyeahyeah - 1.
WLW - 1.
Dissimulation - 1.
Delirium Trigger - 1.
IceBlink Luck's Hatful of Hollow T-shirt - 1.
Satan's Little Helper - 1.
Smerker - 1.
Daddypoos - 1.
Enchanted Rose - 1.
Squashed Strawberry, Hector's House - 1.
Lara Croft - 1.
Llama Farmer - 1.
Luco El Loco - 1.
Love-In-Idleness - 1.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
THE DELOREAN THAT GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. Did you shatter his window panes?
-----
TWO WISHES
That's right. To cut a long story short - went to beach, found magic lamp, led to genie, genie granted me two wishes.
As proof of the genie being real, I granted a wish for you, WLW. I can now guarantee that no elephants or rhinos will stand on you this year.
As for my other wish... maybe her watch stopped, I told her there's a clock on the oven, but do they listen?
Farmer Jack
Farmer Jack, you've been drinking
TOO MUCH SCRUMPY
-----
DUH?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
Sykopathik Mushroom
-----
MODIFICATIONS
- Stationary phone: like a mobile phone but non-mobile.
- Badmington: akin to Badminton but more mingin' (innit).
- Humongous-disc: a much larger verson of the mini-disc.
- Zownie: a zombie townie.
- Gusted: a band like Busted but with more wind effects at gigs.
Inventor Zaganza
Stationary phone?
SURELY YOU CAN RECYCLE IT?
-----
'ZINE ILLUSIONIST.
With all these so-called illusionists around these days, such as David Blaine in his own little box (and own little world), 'Zine should have its own illusionist, to keep up the trend.
My idea - maybe Spiky Stuy could disappear up his own backside?
Oh wait, he already has.
Evil Tongs
What can I say to that?
HO, HO, HO
-----
RI:SE
I cannot believe Channel 4 is getting rid of the amazingness that is RI:SE. Come on, people talking random rubbish and taking the mick out of anything and everything, how can it be flawed? It's like the broadcasted version of 'Zine.
However, there's always the difference that is Kate Lawler dragging the whole standard of things down and thinking she's God's gift. Oh wait, we have Gothbabe.
The Elusive Moose
If they replaced Kate with Davord
I MIGHT TUNE IN
-----
Fishmonger. I am a monger of fish. Bow down and admire my monging skills. I've seen some monging in my time, but you...
-----
I'm tired of people making fun of Wales. It's a wonderful place. As a special tribute, I have composed a limerick:
There was an old lady from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch...
-----
CRUMBS.
Vigilante Maelstrom: I'm looking for some bread.
Employee: Ah, here. This is not just bread, this is the finest Korean bread, carefully produced by the world's leading breadmaker's. Watch me pour cream over it and break it sexily.
Vigilante Maelstrom: The thing is, I want just bread.
Employee: This is not just bread, this is...
Vigilante Maelstrom: Do you sell just bread?
Employee: No.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Love it, this is melt-in-the-middle go-to-heaven chocolate pudding!
-----
ICE CREAM CURRENCY
Ahhh, wouldn't things be great if ice cream was currency again.
Imagine collecting your change in raspberry ripple or buying a Sunday newspaper with soft scoop Cornish. Imagine having a wallet filled of Neapolitan (a rich man indeed). Great.
There are obvious flaws to this idea, but I'd like to ask you to ignore them. Ahh, ice cream...
Topper
Again?
WAS I AWAY THE FIRST TIME AROUND?!
-----
TWO WISHES
That's right. To cut a long story short - went to beach, found magic lamp, led to genie, genie granted me two wishes.
As proof of the genie being real, I granted a wish for you, WLW. I can now guarantee that no elephants or rhinos will stand on you this year.
As for my other wish... maybe her watch stopped, I told her there's a clock on the oven, but do they listen?
Farmer Jack
Farmer Jack, you've been drinking
TOO MUCH SCRUMPY
-----
DUH?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
Sykopathik Mushroom
-----
MODIFICATIONS
- Stationary phone: like a mobile phone but non-mobile.
- Badmington: akin to Badminton but more mingin' (innit).
- Humongous-disc: a much larger verson of the mini-disc.
- Zownie: a zombie townie.
- Gusted: a band like Busted but with more wind effects at gigs.
Inventor Zaganza
Stationary phone?
SURELY YOU CAN RECYCLE IT?
-----
'ZINE ILLUSIONIST.
With all these so-called illusionists around these days, such as David Blaine in his own little box (and own little world), 'Zine should have its own illusionist, to keep up the trend.
My idea - maybe Spiky Stuy could disappear up his own backside?
Oh wait, he already has.
Evil Tongs
What can I say to that?
HO, HO, HO
-----
RI:SE
I cannot believe Channel 4 is getting rid of the amazingness that is RI:SE. Come on, people talking random rubbish and taking the mick out of anything and everything, how can it be flawed? It's like the broadcasted version of 'Zine.
However, there's always the difference that is Kate Lawler dragging the whole standard of things down and thinking she's God's gift. Oh wait, we have Gothbabe.
The Elusive Moose
If they replaced Kate with Davord
I MIGHT TUNE IN
-----
Fishmonger. I am a monger of fish. Bow down and admire my monging skills. I've seen some monging in my time, but you...
-----
I'm tired of people making fun of Wales. It's a wonderful place. As a special tribute, I have composed a limerick:
There was an old lady from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch...
-----
CRUMBS.
Vigilante Maelstrom: I'm looking for some bread.
Employee: Ah, here. This is not just bread, this is the finest Korean bread, carefully produced by the world's leading breadmaker's. Watch me pour cream over it and break it sexily.
Vigilante Maelstrom: The thing is, I want just bread.
Employee: This is not just bread, this is...
Vigilante Maelstrom: Do you sell just bread?
Employee: No.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Love it, this is melt-in-the-middle go-to-heaven chocolate pudding!
-----
ICE CREAM CURRENCY
Ahhh, wouldn't things be great if ice cream was currency again.
Imagine collecting your change in raspberry ripple or buying a Sunday newspaper with soft scoop Cornish. Imagine having a wallet filled of Neapolitan (a rich man indeed). Great.
There are obvious flaws to this idea, but I'd like to ask you to ignore them. Ahh, ice cream...
Topper
Again?
WAS I AWAY THE FIRST TIME AROUND?!
You! Me! Milkshakes!
MY COMPUTER.
Yes, my computer. They dared sell it to me as a life-changing super computer. They promised me a monkey operated computer, and what did I get?
After putting bits of sliced banana into my CD drive and them returning with a "no, thank you" reply, I took the computer apart and found it was weasel operated. Quite frankly I'm appalled, and my weasel is dead at the time of writing. Damn you, Bill Gates.
Big Bob Flapper.
Don't knock it - in years to come
WEASEL COMPUTERS WILL BE VALUABLE.
-----
CHRISTMAS STORY.
DR HORRIBLE: ...and now I am going to destroy the world! Ho ho ho!
HENCHMAN: What is wrong with your laugh?
DR HORRIBLE: Oh, I was hit with a random-laugh-swapping ray.
HENCHMAN: Oh my goodness!
Meanwhile...
FATHER CHRISTMAS: Hi little Esme. What things do you really want for Christmas? Mwahahahaha!
ESME: Aaaaaaaah!
Little Blue Fox.
Have you ever thought of going into
SCRIPT WRITING? WHAT A CORKER.
-----
THE ADVENTURES OF DILBERT
I've lost Dilbert. I don't know how this could have possibly come about - one minute he was there sitting happily on my window sill, and the next he wasn't. Maybe he wanted to escape to pastures new. Or maybe I haven't been feeding him enough supernoodles.
Oh Dilbert my darling, what have I done? Oh, my poor sweet sweet golf ball. If you're reading this, please come back. I miss you.
Jingle
-----
JESUS' MUM AND DAD
Are we really supposed to believe they never "consummated" their marriage? I mean, imagine a brother of Jesus...
"My brother will beat you up." "So? My brother'll get his dad to smite your dad, and destroy his land and send him to hell where he shall burn forever."
And what about sibling rivalry? "Mum, look, I can swim!" - "So what? Jesus could walk on water by the time he was your age."
Freshly Squeezed Cynic.
I'm not even going to start
A RELIGIOUS DEBATE.
-----
CHRISTMAS.
Uh-oh, Christmas is around the metaphorical corner again, with its trees, fake bearded men and feelings of guilt (that actually described an incident I had in a forest once).
What was I talking about? How would I know? You're my Brain! No, I'm not. Yes you are, you said so. I lied. Oh, who am I talking to then? I dunno.
Topper.
Christmas means mince pies though.
LOVE 'EM.
-----
MISSING YOU LIKE HELL.
If someone says that to you, you assume it was a compliment, but who really would miss Hell? If you escaped Hell, would you really want to go back?
Of course you won't - it's meant for pain and suffering. Why would you miss it?! Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here for your TV, WLW. You should have kept up your payments.
YeahYeahYeah.
I'm not scared of a two-bit debt
COLLECTOR. YOU CAN'T HAVE MY TELLY.
-----
A FILM REVIEW.
The Cat in the Hat - a marvellous book! So surely the film must be worth a look?
But in miserable gloom the audience sat,
As joke after joke they fell very flat.
Four pounds of my cash for this pleasure I paid,
If it weren't for that, I'd never have stayed.
Insane Jam Sow.
It wasn't really pleasure then?
STILL - POPCORN!
-----
TWILIGHT ZONE.
A desperate WLW held three regulars captive. "Make me laugh or I'll shoot you," he told them.
Sykopathic Mushroom said: "What about all the letters I've written?", and WLW shot him. Freshly Squeezed Cynic said: "What about all the letters I've written?", and WLW shot him too.
Emma the 'lil' Angel said: "Do you want to hear my new poem about Maroon 5?", and WLW shot himself.
Boris B Bogberry.
It seems your love of Maroon 5 has
TAKEN ITS TOLL. EVERYBODY SING!
-----
FOGGY BRAIN.
Well, I can safely say I'm nervous. Nervous about what you might ask? Well, the usual. Which is why I think we should all sing a rousing song to get us all up on our feet, so we forget our troubles. Any suggestions?
On a lighter note, I heard some very pleasent news yesterday, or was it today? Erm..hippos, rain, fog..nope, gone. But you know I had it.
Elden Ray.
You want a rousing song...
HOW ABOUT THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
-----
PAGE 1.
How many letters do you think could fit on page 1 if we all did one-letter letters? I guess twelven. Yes, twelven.
Maybe we could all just make one collective letter on page 1 with these one letter letters. That would be good. On a semi-related note, I forsee that this letter's not going to make it on to page 1.
Truly, I'm like Mystic Meg without the dodgy wig.
Lilac Leopard.
Lacking the dodgy wig but possessing
FOUR PURPLE PAWS AND LEGS.
Yes, my computer. They dared sell it to me as a life-changing super computer. They promised me a monkey operated computer, and what did I get?
After putting bits of sliced banana into my CD drive and them returning with a "no, thank you" reply, I took the computer apart and found it was weasel operated. Quite frankly I'm appalled, and my weasel is dead at the time of writing. Damn you, Bill Gates.
Big Bob Flapper.
Don't knock it - in years to come
WEASEL COMPUTERS WILL BE VALUABLE.
-----
CHRISTMAS STORY.
DR HORRIBLE: ...and now I am going to destroy the world! Ho ho ho!
HENCHMAN: What is wrong with your laugh?
DR HORRIBLE: Oh, I was hit with a random-laugh-swapping ray.
HENCHMAN: Oh my goodness!
Meanwhile...
FATHER CHRISTMAS: Hi little Esme. What things do you really want for Christmas? Mwahahahaha!
ESME: Aaaaaaaah!
Little Blue Fox.
Have you ever thought of going into
SCRIPT WRITING? WHAT A CORKER.
-----
THE ADVENTURES OF DILBERT
I've lost Dilbert. I don't know how this could have possibly come about - one minute he was there sitting happily on my window sill, and the next he wasn't. Maybe he wanted to escape to pastures new. Or maybe I haven't been feeding him enough supernoodles.
Oh Dilbert my darling, what have I done? Oh, my poor sweet sweet golf ball. If you're reading this, please come back. I miss you.
Jingle
-----
JESUS' MUM AND DAD
Are we really supposed to believe they never "consummated" their marriage? I mean, imagine a brother of Jesus...
"My brother will beat you up." "So? My brother'll get his dad to smite your dad, and destroy his land and send him to hell where he shall burn forever."
And what about sibling rivalry? "Mum, look, I can swim!" - "So what? Jesus could walk on water by the time he was your age."
Freshly Squeezed Cynic.
I'm not even going to start
A RELIGIOUS DEBATE.
-----
CHRISTMAS.
Uh-oh, Christmas is around the metaphorical corner again, with its trees, fake bearded men and feelings of guilt (that actually described an incident I had in a forest once).
What was I talking about? How would I know? You're my Brain! No, I'm not. Yes you are, you said so. I lied. Oh, who am I talking to then? I dunno.
Topper.
Christmas means mince pies though.
LOVE 'EM.
-----
MISSING YOU LIKE HELL.
If someone says that to you, you assume it was a compliment, but who really would miss Hell? If you escaped Hell, would you really want to go back?
Of course you won't - it's meant for pain and suffering. Why would you miss it?! Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here for your TV, WLW. You should have kept up your payments.
YeahYeahYeah.
I'm not scared of a two-bit debt
COLLECTOR. YOU CAN'T HAVE MY TELLY.
-----
A FILM REVIEW.
The Cat in the Hat - a marvellous book! So surely the film must be worth a look?
But in miserable gloom the audience sat,
As joke after joke they fell very flat.
Four pounds of my cash for this pleasure I paid,
If it weren't for that, I'd never have stayed.
Insane Jam Sow.
It wasn't really pleasure then?
STILL - POPCORN!
-----
TWILIGHT ZONE.
A desperate WLW held three regulars captive. "Make me laugh or I'll shoot you," he told them.
Sykopathic Mushroom said: "What about all the letters I've written?", and WLW shot him. Freshly Squeezed Cynic said: "What about all the letters I've written?", and WLW shot him too.
Emma the 'lil' Angel said: "Do you want to hear my new poem about Maroon 5?", and WLW shot himself.
Boris B Bogberry.
It seems your love of Maroon 5 has
TAKEN ITS TOLL. EVERYBODY SING!
-----
FOGGY BRAIN.
Well, I can safely say I'm nervous. Nervous about what you might ask? Well, the usual. Which is why I think we should all sing a rousing song to get us all up on our feet, so we forget our troubles. Any suggestions?
On a lighter note, I heard some very pleasent news yesterday, or was it today? Erm..hippos, rain, fog..nope, gone. But you know I had it.
Elden Ray.
You want a rousing song...
HOW ABOUT THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
-----
PAGE 1.
How many letters do you think could fit on page 1 if we all did one-letter letters? I guess twelven. Yes, twelven.
Maybe we could all just make one collective letter on page 1 with these one letter letters. That would be good. On a semi-related note, I forsee that this letter's not going to make it on to page 1.
Truly, I'm like Mystic Meg without the dodgy wig.
Lilac Leopard.
Lacking the dodgy wig but possessing
FOUR PURPLE PAWS AND LEGS.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Freshly Squeezed Cynic won Saturday Showcase:3D in January 2006.
He got 5 out of 11 votes.
Yay! Well done!
**
IS THERE AN EMO ABOUT?
The Department of Animal Control would like to note that several emos have escaped into the area. Do not be alarmed, these creatures will not cause any harm. If you see an emo, do not approach it, as it will break into uncontrollable weeping. As it does with everything. Simply call the DAC, and we will take it to a suitably terrible band.
Freshly Sqeeezed Cynic
Thanks for the warning. Readers beware!
**
He got 5 out of 11 votes.
Yay! Well done!
*
*IS THERE AN EMO ABOUT?
The Department of Animal Control would like to note that several emos have escaped into the area. Do not be alarmed, these creatures will not cause any harm. If you see an emo, do not approach it, as it will break into uncontrollable weeping. As it does with everything. Simply call the DAC, and we will take it to a suitably terrible band.
Freshly Sqeeezed Cynic
Thanks for the warning. Readers beware!
*
*
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Pedantic 252 won Saturday Showcase:Nemesis. in Feburary 2006.
He got 8 out fo 10 votes.
Yay! Well done!
POOR JOKE
Mary Poppins goes to a restaurant, "How was the meal?" asks the waiter. ?
"Well...," she says. "Super cauliflower cheese, but the lobster was atrocious. ?
Pedantic 252
:-[
He got 8 out fo 10 votes.
Yay! Well done!
POOR JOKE
Mary Poppins goes to a restaurant, "How was the meal?" asks the waiter. ?
"Well...," she says. "Super cauliflower cheese, but the lobster was atrocious. ?
Pedantic 252
:-[
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase:Evolution in March 2006.
He got 4 out of 8 votes.
Yay! Well done!
CRUMBS.
Vigilante Maelstrom: I'm looking for bread.
Employee: Ah, here. This is not just bread, this is the finest Korean bread, carefully produced by the world's leading breadmakers. Watch me pour cream over it and break it sexily.
Vigilante Maelstrom: The thing is, I want just bread.
Employee: This is not just bread, this is...
Vigilante Maelstrom: Do you sell just bread?
Employee: No.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Love it, this is melt-in-the-middle, go-to-heaven chocolate pudding.
He got 4 out of 8 votes.
Yay! Well done!
CRUMBS.
Vigilante Maelstrom: I'm looking for bread.
Employee: Ah, here. This is not just bread, this is the finest Korean bread, carefully produced by the world's leading breadmakers. Watch me pour cream over it and break it sexily.
Vigilante Maelstrom: The thing is, I want just bread.
Employee: This is not just bread, this is...
Vigilante Maelstrom: Do you sell just bread?
Employee: No.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Love it, this is melt-in-the-middle, go-to-heaven chocolate pudding.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Paddy Irishman won Saturday Showcase:Through the looking glass in April 2006.
He got 5 out of 12 votes.
Yay! Well done.
SHEEP WALKING.
As I was cycling home, my new neighbours sheepdog came out and followed me. He just wouldn't leave me alone. He kept barking at sheep, then coming back and following me again. The next day, I snuck past the house quietly and managed to stop him coming out.
Then, half a mile down the road, three sheep stole my bike.
Paddy Irishman.
Are you a sheep in disguise?
He got 5 out of 12 votes.
Yay! Well done.
SHEEP WALKING.
As I was cycling home, my new neighbours sheepdog came out and followed me. He just wouldn't leave me alone. He kept barking at sheep, then coming back and following me again. The next day, I snuck past the house quietly and managed to stop him coming out.
Then, half a mile down the road, three sheep stole my bike.
Paddy Irishman.
Are you a sheep in disguise?
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase: Ocarina of Time in May 2006.
He got 4 out of 12 votes.
Yay! Well done!
DO YOU HAVE A WIKI SIDE?
Dear Spider Fight Club,
Thank you for bringing it to our attention that you added your name to the Wikipedia "Legendary 'Ziners" list.
Don't worry, it has now been deleted. If it happens again, please inform us so we can correct it for you.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Now, now, children, do try to play nicley. We are all a legend in our own lunchtime. Or something.
He got 4 out of 12 votes.
Yay! Well done!
DO YOU HAVE A WIKI SIDE?
Dear Spider Fight Club,
Thank you for bringing it to our attention that you added your name to the Wikipedia "Legendary 'Ziners" list.
Don't worry, it has now been deleted. If it happens again, please inform us so we can correct it for you.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Now, now, children, do try to play nicley. We are all a legend in our own lunchtime. Or something.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase: Twisted! in June 2006.
He got 6 out of 7 votes.
Yay! Well done.
IT'S 'ZINE WEATHER.
Expect a lot of Little Dew Fox this morning. Later on we will see some Elden Rain, with a slight chance of lightning, the kind that struck the DeLorean once (or twice). Be careful when driving through The Sheep With Snow-where to Sleep, as there may be some Smashed Strawberry, Hector's Ice, as well as The Fogtrix. There amy be a Mister Lister Gale, and a worst case scenario is a Freshly Squeezed Cyclone.
Vigilante Hailstorm.
British summertime, you gotta love it.
He got 6 out of 7 votes.
Yay! Well done.
IT'S 'ZINE WEATHER.
Expect a lot of Little Dew Fox this morning. Later on we will see some Elden Rain, with a slight chance of lightning, the kind that struck the DeLorean once (or twice). Be careful when driving through The Sheep With Snow-where to Sleep, as there may be some Smashed Strawberry, Hector's Ice, as well as The Fogtrix. There amy be a Mister Lister Gale, and a worst case scenario is a Freshly Squeezed Cyclone.
Vigilante Hailstorm.
British summertime, you gotta love it.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Farmer Jack won Saturday Showcase:The New Batch in July 2006.
He got 6 out of 13 votes.
Well done!
Crocodiles and death.
Hi, WLW, it's Farmer Jack. I hope you're doing OK in life, and also in death. Death is the end of us all, which is why we must strive to eradicate death.
My theory is we can live on crocodiles, as they are indestructible. I once had a fight with a crocodile, and I lost. I even wore armour- for protection.
Farmer Jack (1986-2006)
When you say "live on them"- do you mean "set up home"? I'm far too tall.
He got 6 out of 13 votes.
Well done!
Crocodiles and death.
Hi, WLW, it's Farmer Jack. I hope you're doing OK in life, and also in death. Death is the end of us all, which is why we must strive to eradicate death.
My theory is we can live on crocodiles, as they are indestructible. I once had a fight with a crocodile, and I lost. I even wore armour- for protection.
Farmer Jack (1986-2006)
When you say "live on them"- do you mean "set up home"? I'm far too tall.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Paddy Irishman won Saturday Showcase:A True Underdog Story in August 2006.
He got 8 out of 17 votes.
Yay! well done!
Sweet music.
I leave my guitar beside my door at home. That's a bad place to leave it; because any time that door opens or closes, it makes a noise. Last week, a girl I had a one-night relationship with, slammed the door, to the tune of A Horse With No Name. Which is ironic; because, not only couldn't I remember her name...
Paddy Irishman.
Sounded like you landed yourself a real player there, Paddy.
He got 8 out of 17 votes.
Yay! well done!
Sweet music.
I leave my guitar beside my door at home. That's a bad place to leave it; because any time that door opens or closes, it makes a noise. Last week, a girl I had a one-night relationship with, slammed the door, to the tune of A Horse With No Name. Which is ironic; because, not only couldn't I remember her name...
Paddy Irishman.
Sounded like you landed yourself a real player there, Paddy.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
The High Preistess of Jahova-ism won Saturday Plagiarismcase in October 2006.
She got 5 out of 11 votes.
Well done!
THE HIGH PRIESTESS OF JENOVA-ISM. The Madness Hamsters. Every night they come, and bit by bit, they steal your brain and feed it to their mum. So that's how you lost your mind.
She got 5 out of 11 votes.
Well done!
THE HIGH PRIESTESS OF JENOVA-ISM. The Madness Hamsters. Every night they come, and bit by bit, they steal your brain and feed it to their mum. So that's how you lost your mind.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom and Grimble Gromble won Saturday Showcase:The Secret of the Ooze in September 2006.
They got 5 out of 14 votes.
Well dones!
'ZINE RULES.
We got bored playing Monopoly and cam up with some of our own "Chance" cards.
- "Street Repairs.- You get stuck in concrete. Never move again".
- "Go to go to jail".
- "You're fat".
- "Tornado! Swipe off some houses".
- Paint Mr Miyagi's fance. Wax on, £200 off".
- "WOOF! Change to the dog".
Vigilante Melstrom and Grimble Gromble.
They got 5 out of 14 votes.
Well dones!
'ZINE RULES.
We got bored playing Monopoly and cam up with some of our own "Chance" cards.
- "Street Repairs.- You get stuck in concrete. Never move again".
- "Go to go to jail".
- "You're fat".
- "Tornado! Swipe off some houses".
- Paint Mr Miyagi's fance. Wax on, £200 off".
- "WOOF! Change to the dog".
Vigilante Melstrom and Grimble Gromble.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Elden Ray and Lord Seastian Flyte won Saturday Showcases in October 2006.
They got 3out of 10, and 4 out of 9 votes.
Well dones!
Classy.
Charlie Brown had a red-headed girl. Our lectures have one too. She just cannot keep her mouth shut, so we're all taking bets on how long it'll be. The record (today) was seven minutes. It's a great way for the class to bond when she starts going on about how her Latin name in her reconstruction group is... something along the lines of Boudicca, but not that classy.
Elden Ray.
---
Modern Slides.
At last: a reason to visit Tate Modern that isn't to mooch in the book shop: slides! "Weeee"- that's the noise I made, hurtling down the slides; today, in class. Of course, when another type of artist takes to the slide and goes "weeee", they'll spoil it for everyone; or, as my art teacher said, "They might create a piece of folk art" - which is her euphemism for number twos.
Lord Sebastian Flyte.
"Weeees" and "twos"? Who says the Zine has gone down
the toilet?
They got 3out of 10, and 4 out of 9 votes.
Well dones!
Classy.
Charlie Brown had a red-headed girl. Our lectures have one too. She just cannot keep her mouth shut, so we're all taking bets on how long it'll be. The record (today) was seven minutes. It's a great way for the class to bond when she starts going on about how her Latin name in her reconstruction group is... something along the lines of Boudicca, but not that classy.
Elden Ray.
---
Modern Slides.
At last: a reason to visit Tate Modern that isn't to mooch in the book shop: slides! "Weeee"- that's the noise I made, hurtling down the slides; today, in class. Of course, when another type of artist takes to the slide and goes "weeee", they'll spoil it for everyone; or, as my art teacher said, "They might create a piece of folk art" - which is her euphemism for number twos.
Lord Sebastian Flyte.
"Weeees" and "twos"? Who says the Zine has gone down
the toilet?
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase:The Curse of the Were-Rabbit in November 2006.
He ogt 5 out of 12 votes.
yay! Well done!
Vigilante Maelstrom.In a dark, dark town was a dark, dark house. In a dark, dark house was a dark, dark room. In the dark, dark room was a dark, dark plagiarism allegation. Fiddlesticks. Plagiarism? On the Zine? Never!
---
DARON'S THE DOG'S.
Little Daron Hendle got a dog for his 8th birthday. Daron was a nice boy, but he was often a bit selfish. This puppy didn't like this, so every time Daron was selfish it would bite off one of his fingers.
Daron is now 15 and incapable of certain pastimes his peers get up to.
The moral of the story is: don't get a dog.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Anteaters. That's what Daron's after. They have no teeth, you know.
He ogt 5 out of 12 votes.
yay! Well done!
Vigilante Maelstrom.In a dark, dark town was a dark, dark house. In a dark, dark house was a dark, dark room. In the dark, dark room was a dark, dark plagiarism allegation. Fiddlesticks. Plagiarism? On the Zine? Never!
---
DARON'S THE DOG'S.
Little Daron Hendle got a dog for his 8th birthday. Daron was a nice boy, but he was often a bit selfish. This puppy didn't like this, so every time Daron was selfish it would bite off one of his fingers.
Daron is now 15 and incapable of certain pastimes his peers get up to.
The moral of the story is: don't get a dog.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Anteaters. That's what Daron's after. They have no teeth, you know.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase:At World's End in December 2006.
He got 4 out of 8 votes.
Well done!
Fairy Christmas.
Every time a jingle bell is shaken on a TV commercial, a fairy dies. As we enter Advert; I mean, Advent, this is becoming a quite scary statistic. The only way to stop this, is by turning off your televisions and doing your part, by striking a minute's worth of cowbell each evening. Did you know that some vegans refuse to play cowbells?
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Gothic Fairy vs a jingle bell? I know who I'd back to come out in one piece.
He got 4 out of 8 votes.
Well done!
Fairy Christmas.
Every time a jingle bell is shaken on a TV commercial, a fairy dies. As we enter Advert; I mean, Advent, this is becoming a quite scary statistic. The only way to stop this, is by turning off your televisions and doing your part, by striking a minute's worth of cowbell each evening. Did you know that some vegans refuse to play cowbells?
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Gothic Fairy vs a jingle bell? I know who I'd back to come out in one piece.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Up to January 2007...
*Saturday Showcase Wins.*
Evil Tongs (18/10/2003).
Caged Liberty (25/10/2003).
The Hoopiest Frood (1/11/2003).
Caged Liberty (8/11/2003).
Farmer Jack (15/11/2003).
Little Blue Fox (22/11/2003).
Elusive Moose (29/11/2003).
Clive Eats Alligators (13/5/2004).
Freshley Squeezed Cynic (May 2005).
Dissimulation (June 2005).
Paddy Irishman (July 2005).
Stuttercut (August 2005).
1929 (September 2005).
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning (October 2005).
Lara Croft (November 2005).
Paddy Irishman and Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex (December 2005).
Freshly Squeezed Cynic (January 2006).
Pedantic 252 (Feburary 2006).
Vigilante Maelstrom (March 2006).
Paddy Irishman (April 2006).
Vigilante Maelstrom (May 2006).
Vigilante Maelstrom (June 2006).
Farmer Jack (July 2006).
Paddy Irishman (August 2006).
Vigialnte Maelstrom and Grimble Gromble (September 2006).
Elden Ray (October 2006).
Lord Sebastian Flyte (October 2006 too).
Vigilante Maelstrom (November 2006).
Vigilante Maelstrom (December 2006).
---
- *Saturday Showcase Nominations.*
Paddy Irishman/Shamrocking Bogman - 12.
Vigilante Maelstrom - 11.
Elden Ray - 9.
Freshley Squeezed Cynic - 5.
Lilac Leopard - 5.
Caged Liberty - 4.
Stuttercut/Topper - 4.
Farmer Jack - 4.
Little Blue Fox/The Soul Cake Duck - 4.
Big Bob Flapper - 3.
Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex - 3.
Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House/Aphra the Post-Modern Spy - 3.
Insane Jam Sow - 3.
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning - 2.
YeahYeahYeah -2.
Mancomb Seepgood - 2.
One Winged Angel - 2.
Junior Minister - 2.
Lord Sebastian Flyte - 2.
Blossom Black Shadow - 2.
Dr Namgge - 2.
Evil Tongs - 1.
Jingle - 1.
Pablo Marmite - 1.
Not a Trendie, Not One Of You Either - 1.
The Hoopiest Frood - 1.
DJ Dave - 1.
Broken Bubbles - 1.
The One With Little Significance - 1.
Apologetic Breadstick - 1.
Gnuffo - 1.
Satan's Rubber Duck - 1.
Elusive Moose - 1.
Clive Eats Alligators - 1.
HP Baaxter - 1.
The Suited Stranger - 1.
Numberthree - 1.
WLW - 1.
Dissimulation - 1.
Delirium Trigger - 1.
IceBlink Luck's Hatful of Hollow T-shirt - 1.
Satan's Little Helper - 1.
Smerker - 1.
Daddypoos - 1.
Enchanted Rose - 1.
Lara Croft - 1.
Llama Farmer - 1.
Luco El Loco - 1.
Love-In-Idleness - 1.
Broccoli the Evil One - 1.
Lola Cherry Cola - 1.
Pedantic 252 - 1.
Norman Barry - 1.
The Twirly Catcher - 1.
Helga Hufflepuff's Hat - 1.
The Psychedelic Gloom - 1.
Samurai Hedgehog - 1.
Princess Psycho - 1.
The Vampire of ye olde Hinkytown - 1.
Unusual Suspect - 1.
Uneducated Wombat - 1.
Zandanius, King of the Jews - 1.
The Anteater - 1.
Grimble Gromble - 1.
The Salmon of Doubt - 1.
Dalek - 1.
Six - 1.
*Saturday Showcase Wins.*
Evil Tongs (18/10/2003).
Caged Liberty (25/10/2003).
The Hoopiest Frood (1/11/2003).
Caged Liberty (8/11/2003).
Farmer Jack (15/11/2003).
Little Blue Fox (22/11/2003).
Elusive Moose (29/11/2003).
Clive Eats Alligators (13/5/2004).
Freshley Squeezed Cynic (May 2005).
Dissimulation (June 2005).
Paddy Irishman (July 2005).
Stuttercut (August 2005).
1929 (September 2005).
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning (October 2005).
Lara Croft (November 2005).
Paddy Irishman and Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex (December 2005).
Freshly Squeezed Cynic (January 2006).
Pedantic 252 (Feburary 2006).
Vigilante Maelstrom (March 2006).
Paddy Irishman (April 2006).
Vigilante Maelstrom (May 2006).
Vigilante Maelstrom (June 2006).
Farmer Jack (July 2006).
Paddy Irishman (August 2006).
Vigialnte Maelstrom and Grimble Gromble (September 2006).
Elden Ray (October 2006).
Lord Sebastian Flyte (October 2006 too).
Vigilante Maelstrom (November 2006).
Vigilante Maelstrom (December 2006).
---
- *Saturday Showcase Nominations.*
Paddy Irishman/Shamrocking Bogman - 12.
Vigilante Maelstrom - 11.
Elden Ray - 9.
Freshley Squeezed Cynic - 5.
Lilac Leopard - 5.
Caged Liberty - 4.
Stuttercut/Topper - 4.
Farmer Jack - 4.
Little Blue Fox/The Soul Cake Duck - 4.
Big Bob Flapper - 3.
Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex - 3.
Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House/Aphra the Post-Modern Spy - 3.
Insane Jam Sow - 3.
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning - 2.
YeahYeahYeah -2.
Mancomb Seepgood - 2.
One Winged Angel - 2.
Junior Minister - 2.
Lord Sebastian Flyte - 2.
Blossom Black Shadow - 2.
Dr Namgge - 2.
Evil Tongs - 1.
Jingle - 1.
Pablo Marmite - 1.
Not a Trendie, Not One Of You Either - 1.
The Hoopiest Frood - 1.
DJ Dave - 1.
Broken Bubbles - 1.
The One With Little Significance - 1.
Apologetic Breadstick - 1.
Gnuffo - 1.
Satan's Rubber Duck - 1.
Elusive Moose - 1.
Clive Eats Alligators - 1.
HP Baaxter - 1.
The Suited Stranger - 1.
Numberthree - 1.
WLW - 1.
Dissimulation - 1.
Delirium Trigger - 1.
IceBlink Luck's Hatful of Hollow T-shirt - 1.
Satan's Little Helper - 1.
Smerker - 1.
Daddypoos - 1.
Enchanted Rose - 1.
Lara Croft - 1.
Llama Farmer - 1.
Luco El Loco - 1.
Love-In-Idleness - 1.
Broccoli the Evil One - 1.
Lola Cherry Cola - 1.
Pedantic 252 - 1.
Norman Barry - 1.
The Twirly Catcher - 1.
Helga Hufflepuff's Hat - 1.
The Psychedelic Gloom - 1.
Samurai Hedgehog - 1.
Princess Psycho - 1.
The Vampire of ye olde Hinkytown - 1.
Unusual Suspect - 1.
Uneducated Wombat - 1.
Zandanius, King of the Jews - 1.
The Anteater - 1.
Grimble Gromble - 1.
The Salmon of Doubt - 1.
Dalek - 1.
Six - 1.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Hi.
I found lots of really good letters - I hope they help you think of lots of cool ideas.
LUNGS VS ORIGINALITY.
- Lungs enable us to respirate, originality enables us to put down the uninspired.
- "Lungs" has five letters. Five is a nice, round number. "Originality" has 11 letters. 11 is a bad number.
Most can honestly claim they have lungs, not everyone can honestly claim to have originality.
WLW, are you more of an originality or lungsy-type person?
1929.
I border on originality, but can be quite lungsy when the mood takes...
-----
CASH CRISIS.
Please note, in order to meet the conditions for joining the single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom must be made aware that the phrase "spending a penny" is not to be used after April 1, 2004.
From this date, the correct terminology will be: "Euronating".
Thank you for your attention.
Fibreglass Monkey.
Who's a witty
WEE DEVIL TODAY THEN!
-----
TIME TO SCREAM.
My grandad, who I've been unlucky enough to live with is really driving me mad. He's so desperate for attention that he's invented this new game.
What he does, if you're not in the room with him, is use his mobile to call the house phone. Then when he's got you to answer the phone, he'll say it was just a mistake. It's all a ploy to get you to talk to him. Sick.
Plughole Fantasy.
Relatives
AHH, BLESS THEM.
-----
CHARITY.
People are constantly asking me to give money to charity, donate an organ, volunteer to work in Africa, give them some of my hair, etc. Do you know what I say to them? No? I don't know either. I just black out and wake up in the forest dressed like a nudist. Pine cones are itchy.
Paddy Irishman.
Scratch.
-----
MILTON AND ME. I'm no stranger to pain. I've been to Slough...TWICE !
-----
RAREBITS.
There have been sightings of October bunnies in this area. Their predecessors, the March hares are being spotted far less frequently and are in danger of becoming extinct.
The evil October bunnies and be recognised by their disconcerting manner, twitchy tails, and general cockiness. If you discover one, please report it to your nearest vegetable patch.
The One with Little Significance.
Mavis look away
OH, SHE'S ALREADY GONE OUT.
-----
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF...
- Birds had no wings but cats did.
- The world was a Rubik's Cube and a God-like hand appeared occasionally to change things round.
- You could take photos through your eyes and print them through your mouth.
- Birmingham had a nice beach.
- The A-Team ran the country.
Zaganza.
If the A-Team ran the country
MR T WOULD MAKE US ALL WEAR MEDALLIONS!
-----
Art Attack.
It is pretty creepy and susupicious Neil Buchanan has not aged since, like, 1990. He is like Dorian Gray... Oh my goodness - maybe he has a dusty Art Attack self-portrait, gradually growing older and more ugly and twisted, like a reflection of his soul, in his cellar. It probably has a secret compartment for chocolate buttons and a 3D-style frame, made out of papier mache.
Yes! It must be true!
The Boney King Of Nowhere.
It should be called Eye Attack, with his bouffant and his silly red sweater.
-----
THE TASTE TEST.
So, there I am, drinking a carton of 5 Alive, and I swear, I could only taste four of the flavours. So I phone the 5 Alive helpline...
Snotty woman: "Hello, can I help you?"
Me: "Yes, I can only taste four of the flavours."
Snotty woman hangs up.
The Lightning Lady.
Maybe it's your problem
YOU HAVE TASTEBUD DEFICIENCY.
-----
'ZINE HOW WE LOVE THEE.
Me and my fiance decided to invite a few friends round to have a memorial to 'Zine's demise. The question arose: what will we do if it really ends? After much debate we came up with the answer, we would simply meet up again to commit mass suicide. Because after all thses years is this not what 'Zine has been about?
Zadanius, King of the Jews.
Don't be too hasty, dear Zadanius.
-----
DOWN WITH THE KIDS.
I'm sick of rappers always saying "keep it real". Just once can't they keep it vaguely imaginary? You know instead of driving around in a big low rider, they could come out in a big Elvin carriage, with a big wizard's hat and a pair of curly shoes! With Aslan on the decks, he doesn't even need decks - he could just scratch with his big claws. You know, that's one of the advantages of beinga lion king of Narnia.
Delirium Trigger.
Do you think he'd get on well with
SNOOP DOGG AND GORILLAZ?
-----
0800 R-E-V-E-R-S-E.
Doctor Horse Man,
I too copied what I'd seen in an advert in attempt to pull.
I walked up to a payphone and pretended to have no money. However, to my surprise, Holly Valance didn't come to my aid. Granted, Natalie Imbruglia did, but it wasn't the same.
Suffice to say my mother didn't get a call from me that day.
TurboSnail v1.5.
Video killed the radio star
AND MOBILES KILLED THE PAYPHONE.
-----
BADGER RACING.
My master plan to revolutionise sport has finally reached its climax.
Prepare to say goodbye to horse racing and greyhounds because what I have up my sleeve is better - and comes with natural racing stripes.
The badger! Bad tempered and fat, with two-year-olds strapped to their backs. Hilarious, I know. Should I phone Sky Sports now?
The Aporkalypse.
Save your phonebill
I'VE SEEN IT ON E4 ALREADY.
-----
HAZARDOUS FIRES.
Man, I was so tired last night, I fell asleep in front of the fire. Bad thing is, there's no fireplace in my bedroom. The fire officer told me that it was most likely smoke inhalation that knocked me out. Said I was very lucky.
Don't drink and drive, kids!
Paddy Irishman.
Fire and drinking never mix.
-----
FLOWER POWER.
The sunflowers in my garden look demonic, smiling faces. Faces which haunt my every move.
When the wind blows them to one side. it looks as if the're leaning over to look in the window at me.
It's really freaking me out. Help.
Topper.
Don't worry they're just show-offs
EXHIBITING THEIR FLOWER POWER.
-----
THE USEFULNESS OF WHAT IS NOT.
Isn't it funny how sometimes what makes something useful is the empty space it contains. Some examples:
- Buckets - it's the space inside them that makes them useful for carrying stuff.
- If a hat already contained a head, you couldn't wear it.
- Nothing could fill this page unless it was empty
Clive Eats Alligators.
That's the most intelligent discovery
WE'VE HAD HERE FOR AGES.
-----
BEST OF ZINE: SHEEP.
Sheep come in all shapes and prices. I deal in all kinds of sheep: green ones, shaven ones, big thick woolly ones, miniature ones, inflatable ones and six-legged ones.
I mean, er...not inflatable ones. Heh, that could have been embarrassing. Don't print this.
Farmer Jack.
Hey - if you are gonna send it,
I MAY AS WELL PRINT IT.
-----
WILLIAM, IT WAS NOTHING.
I would ode the man Shatner, if I could write poetry. His lyrical prowess, his soothing singing voice, his fugitive stare. If life is bad; well, just when you think it can't get any worse, Shatner turns up. That's just the kind of great man he is. Shatner. An ode. For common. People. In the sky. With Lucy.
Elden Ray.
Oh what a wonderful ode. Does anyone love WLW enough to write one for me?
-----
Sir. Stop.
Your constant insistence on writing punctuation has become a nuisance. Stop.
If ever, comma, you get over this "open quote" cleverness "close quote", comma, please drop me a line. Stop. Failing that, comma, just stop. Stop. You idiot! Exclaimation mark.
Smerker.
Did you write that book
EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES?
-----
STUTTERCUT. Wouldn't it be annoying if
every time a bee died, a wasp was born.
There'd be a sting in the tail, yes.
I found lots of really good letters - I hope they help you think of lots of cool ideas.
LUNGS VS ORIGINALITY.
- Lungs enable us to respirate, originality enables us to put down the uninspired.
- "Lungs" has five letters. Five is a nice, round number. "Originality" has 11 letters. 11 is a bad number.
Most can honestly claim they have lungs, not everyone can honestly claim to have originality.
WLW, are you more of an originality or lungsy-type person?
1929.
I border on originality, but can be quite lungsy when the mood takes...
-----
CASH CRISIS.
Please note, in order to meet the conditions for joining the single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom must be made aware that the phrase "spending a penny" is not to be used after April 1, 2004.
From this date, the correct terminology will be: "Euronating".
Thank you for your attention.
Fibreglass Monkey.
Who's a witty
WEE DEVIL TODAY THEN!
-----
TIME TO SCREAM.
My grandad, who I've been unlucky enough to live with is really driving me mad. He's so desperate for attention that he's invented this new game.
What he does, if you're not in the room with him, is use his mobile to call the house phone. Then when he's got you to answer the phone, he'll say it was just a mistake. It's all a ploy to get you to talk to him. Sick.
Plughole Fantasy.
Relatives
AHH, BLESS THEM.
-----
CHARITY.
People are constantly asking me to give money to charity, donate an organ, volunteer to work in Africa, give them some of my hair, etc. Do you know what I say to them? No? I don't know either. I just black out and wake up in the forest dressed like a nudist. Pine cones are itchy.
Paddy Irishman.
Scratch.
-----
MILTON AND ME. I'm no stranger to pain. I've been to Slough...TWICE !
-----
RAREBITS.
There have been sightings of October bunnies in this area. Their predecessors, the March hares are being spotted far less frequently and are in danger of becoming extinct.
The evil October bunnies and be recognised by their disconcerting manner, twitchy tails, and general cockiness. If you discover one, please report it to your nearest vegetable patch.
The One with Little Significance.
Mavis look away
OH, SHE'S ALREADY GONE OUT.
-----
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF...
- Birds had no wings but cats did.
- The world was a Rubik's Cube and a God-like hand appeared occasionally to change things round.
- You could take photos through your eyes and print them through your mouth.
- Birmingham had a nice beach.
- The A-Team ran the country.
Zaganza.
If the A-Team ran the country
MR T WOULD MAKE US ALL WEAR MEDALLIONS!
-----
Art Attack.
It is pretty creepy and susupicious Neil Buchanan has not aged since, like, 1990. He is like Dorian Gray... Oh my goodness - maybe he has a dusty Art Attack self-portrait, gradually growing older and more ugly and twisted, like a reflection of his soul, in his cellar. It probably has a secret compartment for chocolate buttons and a 3D-style frame, made out of papier mache.
Yes! It must be true!
The Boney King Of Nowhere.
It should be called Eye Attack, with his bouffant and his silly red sweater.
-----
THE TASTE TEST.
So, there I am, drinking a carton of 5 Alive, and I swear, I could only taste four of the flavours. So I phone the 5 Alive helpline...
Snotty woman: "Hello, can I help you?"
Me: "Yes, I can only taste four of the flavours."
Snotty woman hangs up.
The Lightning Lady.
Maybe it's your problem
YOU HAVE TASTEBUD DEFICIENCY.
-----
'ZINE HOW WE LOVE THEE.
Me and my fiance decided to invite a few friends round to have a memorial to 'Zine's demise. The question arose: what will we do if it really ends? After much debate we came up with the answer, we would simply meet up again to commit mass suicide. Because after all thses years is this not what 'Zine has been about?
Zadanius, King of the Jews.
Don't be too hasty, dear Zadanius.
-----
DOWN WITH THE KIDS.
I'm sick of rappers always saying "keep it real". Just once can't they keep it vaguely imaginary? You know instead of driving around in a big low rider, they could come out in a big Elvin carriage, with a big wizard's hat and a pair of curly shoes! With Aslan on the decks, he doesn't even need decks - he could just scratch with his big claws. You know, that's one of the advantages of beinga lion king of Narnia.
Delirium Trigger.
Do you think he'd get on well with
SNOOP DOGG AND GORILLAZ?
-----
0800 R-E-V-E-R-S-E.
Doctor Horse Man,
I too copied what I'd seen in an advert in attempt to pull.
I walked up to a payphone and pretended to have no money. However, to my surprise, Holly Valance didn't come to my aid. Granted, Natalie Imbruglia did, but it wasn't the same.
Suffice to say my mother didn't get a call from me that day.
TurboSnail v1.5.
Video killed the radio star
AND MOBILES KILLED THE PAYPHONE.
-----
BADGER RACING.
My master plan to revolutionise sport has finally reached its climax.
Prepare to say goodbye to horse racing and greyhounds because what I have up my sleeve is better - and comes with natural racing stripes.
The badger! Bad tempered and fat, with two-year-olds strapped to their backs. Hilarious, I know. Should I phone Sky Sports now?
The Aporkalypse.
Save your phonebill
I'VE SEEN IT ON E4 ALREADY.
-----
HAZARDOUS FIRES.
Man, I was so tired last night, I fell asleep in front of the fire. Bad thing is, there's no fireplace in my bedroom. The fire officer told me that it was most likely smoke inhalation that knocked me out. Said I was very lucky.
Don't drink and drive, kids!
Paddy Irishman.
Fire and drinking never mix.
-----
FLOWER POWER.
The sunflowers in my garden look demonic, smiling faces. Faces which haunt my every move.
When the wind blows them to one side. it looks as if the're leaning over to look in the window at me.
It's really freaking me out. Help.
Topper.
Don't worry they're just show-offs
EXHIBITING THEIR FLOWER POWER.
-----
THE USEFULNESS OF WHAT IS NOT.
Isn't it funny how sometimes what makes something useful is the empty space it contains. Some examples:
- Buckets - it's the space inside them that makes them useful for carrying stuff.
- If a hat already contained a head, you couldn't wear it.
- Nothing could fill this page unless it was empty
Clive Eats Alligators.
That's the most intelligent discovery
WE'VE HAD HERE FOR AGES.
-----
BEST OF ZINE: SHEEP.
Sheep come in all shapes and prices. I deal in all kinds of sheep: green ones, shaven ones, big thick woolly ones, miniature ones, inflatable ones and six-legged ones.
I mean, er...not inflatable ones. Heh, that could have been embarrassing. Don't print this.
Farmer Jack.
Hey - if you are gonna send it,
I MAY AS WELL PRINT IT.
-----
WILLIAM, IT WAS NOTHING.
I would ode the man Shatner, if I could write poetry. His lyrical prowess, his soothing singing voice, his fugitive stare. If life is bad; well, just when you think it can't get any worse, Shatner turns up. That's just the kind of great man he is. Shatner. An ode. For common. People. In the sky. With Lucy.
Elden Ray.
Oh what a wonderful ode. Does anyone love WLW enough to write one for me?
-----
Sir. Stop.
Your constant insistence on writing punctuation has become a nuisance. Stop.
If ever, comma, you get over this "open quote" cleverness "close quote", comma, please drop me a line. Stop. Failing that, comma, just stop. Stop. You idiot! Exclaimation mark.
Smerker.
Did you write that book
EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES?
-----
STUTTERCUT. Wouldn't it be annoying if
every time a bee died, a wasp was born.
There'd be a sting in the tail, yes.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase:Genesis in January 2007.
He got 4 out of 8 votes.
Yay. Well done!
Game for it.
Recent reports of Tetris hooligans should not worry us any more. Though they are notorious for sequentially piling on top of their victims; it has been discovered that, if they align correctly, they disentegrate in rows.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
I'm more worried about the Pac-man menace.
Link!
He got 4 out of 8 votes.
Yay. Well done!
Game for it.
Recent reports of Tetris hooligans should not worry us any more. Though they are notorious for sequentially piling on top of their victims; it has been discovered that, if they align correctly, they disentegrate in rows.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
I'm more worried about the Pac-man menace.
Link!
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Miss Whiskers won Saturday Showcase:Absolution in Feburary 2007.
She got 3 out of 10 votes.
Well done.
Culture Clash!!
Smug English man: Ready?
Annoying French woman: Oui - Anthony Worrel Thompson.
Man: Jean Christophe Noeuvele.
Woman: Pfft! Beer bellies, moobs...-
Man: Girls with mostaches!
Woman: Gah! Ignorance!
Man: Arrogance! - Damn! Mime Artists! Ha!
Woman: Morris dancers…
French Car, British Designers.
Miss Whiskers.
Miss Whiskers, the new Kofi Annan?
Link!
She got 3 out of 10 votes.
Well done.
Culture Clash!!
Smug English man: Ready?
Annoying French woman: Oui - Anthony Worrel Thompson.
Man: Jean Christophe Noeuvele.
Woman: Pfft! Beer bellies, moobs...-
Man: Girls with mostaches!
Woman: Gah! Ignorance!
Man: Arrogance! - Damn! Mime Artists! Ha!
Woman: Morris dancers…
French Car, British Designers.
Miss Whiskers.
Miss Whiskers, the new Kofi Annan?
Link!
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase:Advent Children in March 2007.
He got 5 out of 17 votes.
Yay! Well done!
The Fifth Element.
The title of the film The Fifth Element is very stupid. I mean, it acts as if it's all mysterious and everything, but anyone with a periodic table knows the fifth element is Boron.
Appropriately, the film is quite boring. If they wanted us to think the ilm more radical, they should have tried "The Eighty-Eighth Element".
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Thanks for that reaction (geddit).
Link!
He got 5 out of 17 votes.
Yay! Well done!
The Fifth Element.
The title of the film The Fifth Element is very stupid. I mean, it acts as if it's all mysterious and everything, but anyone with a periodic table knows the fifth element is Boron.
Appropriately, the film is quite boring. If they wanted us to think the ilm more radical, they should have tried "The Eighty-Eighth Element".
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Thanks for that reaction (geddit).
Link!
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase:Revenge of the Sith in April 2007.
He got 4 out of 11 votes.
Well done!
Abbrevs.
I only just realised that "pc4pc" isn't something computers in love scratch onto trees. Made me think, what do other internet slang things stand for?
lol - Look out! Loser!
lmao - Let's make an omelette.
stfu - Sociology - The Foundation Unit.
wtf - Wear the fleece.
cu l8r - This one is impossible to decode.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Personally, I like to NIFAC.
Link!
He got 4 out of 11 votes.
Well done!
Abbrevs.
I only just realised that "pc4pc" isn't something computers in love scratch onto trees. Made me think, what do other internet slang things stand for?
lol - Look out! Loser!
lmao - Let's make an omelette.
stfu - Sociology - The Foundation Unit.
wtf - Wear the fleece.
cu l8r - This one is impossible to decode.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
Personally, I like to NIFAC.
Link!
You! Me! Milkshakes!
All the links work again.
*18/10/2003. Click.
*25/10/2003. Click.
*1/11/2003. Click.
*8/11/2003. Click.
*15/11/2003. Click.
*22/11/2003. Click.
*29/11/2003. Click.
---
*13/5/2004. Click.
---
*May 2005. Click.
*June 2005. Click.
*July 2005. Click.
*August 2005. Click.
*September 2005. Click.
*October 2005. Click.
*November 2005. Click.
*December 2005. Click.
---
*January 2006. Click.
*Feburary 2006. Click.
*March 2006. Click.
*April 2006. Click.
*May 2006. Click.
*June 2006. Click.
*July 2006. Click.
*August 2006. Click.
*September 2006. Click.
*October 2006. Click.
*October 2006 too. Click.
*November 2006. Click.
*December 2006. Click.
---
*Saturday Plagiarismcase. Click.
*Saturday Plagiarismcase 2. Click.
*18/10/2003. Click.
*25/10/2003. Click.
*1/11/2003. Click.
*8/11/2003. Click.
*15/11/2003. Click.
*22/11/2003. Click.
*29/11/2003. Click.
---
*13/5/2004. Click.
---
*May 2005. Click.
*June 2005. Click.
*July 2005. Click.
*August 2005. Click.
*September 2005. Click.
*October 2005. Click.
*November 2005. Click.
*December 2005. Click.
---
*January 2006. Click.
*Feburary 2006. Click.
*March 2006. Click.
*April 2006. Click.
*May 2006. Click.
*June 2006. Click.
*July 2006. Click.
*August 2006. Click.
*September 2006. Click.
*October 2006. Click.
*October 2006 too. Click.
*November 2006. Click.
*December 2006. Click.
---
*Saturday Plagiarismcase. Click.
*Saturday Plagiarismcase 2. Click.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Insane Jam Sow won Saturday Showcase:4 Your Sins in May 2007.
He got 4 out of 10 votes.
Yay! Well done!
The list of lists.
Since lists are a guaranteed way to be printed, here are some famous lists:
* Frank Liszt, Hungarian composer
* List, Germany. The country's northernmost village.
* LIST, the London Institute of Shipping and Transport
* List Magazine, Scottish entertainment guide
* Lister from Red Dwarf
* Listerine mouthwash
Insane Jam Sow.
Great topic. Any more famous lists?
Link.
He got 4 out of 10 votes.
Yay! Well done!
The list of lists.
Since lists are a guaranteed way to be printed, here are some famous lists:
* Frank Liszt, Hungarian composer
* List, Germany. The country's northernmost village.
* LIST, the London Institute of Shipping and Transport
* List Magazine, Scottish entertainment guide
* Lister from Red Dwarf
* Listerine mouthwash
Insane Jam Sow.
Great topic. Any more famous lists?
Link.
You! Me! Milkshakes!
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning and Vigialnte Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase:Symphony of the Night in July 2007.
They both got 4 out of 13 votes.
Well dones!
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning. If a Minister is divisible only by himself and the number one, does that make him a Prime Minister? Is this an incisive musing on the legacy of Tony Blair? Didn't think so.
---
Baby.
Music is unfair to babies. For example, one song urges, "Hit me, baby, one more time," but babies can't hit. Also "C'mon, baby, light my fire". I doubt any babies understand the concept of fire, never mind how to light one. And that's dangerous.
To counteract this, my band, The Pronouns, have written some songs, including, "Slobber and cry, baby" and "Baby, be oblivious to the fact you were unintended".
Vigilante Maelstrom.
What about the horror of "Babycakes"?
Link!
They both got 4 out of 13 votes.
Well dones!
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning. If a Minister is divisible only by himself and the number one, does that make him a Prime Minister? Is this an incisive musing on the legacy of Tony Blair? Didn't think so.
---
Baby.
Music is unfair to babies. For example, one song urges, "Hit me, baby, one more time," but babies can't hit. Also "C'mon, baby, light my fire". I doubt any babies understand the concept of fire, never mind how to light one. And that's dangerous.
To counteract this, my band, The Pronouns, have written some songs, including, "Slobber and cry, baby" and "Baby, be oblivious to the fact you were unintended".
Vigilante Maelstrom.
What about the horror of "Babycakes"?
Link!
You! Me! Milkshakes!
Vigilante Maelstrom won Saturday Showcase:The Third Place in July 2007.
He got 4 out of 10 votes.
Well done!
Argyle Clothing 6.
Employee: You may be interested in these shoes.
Customer: Ooh, these are nice. I'll take this one and that one.
Employee: It's customary to get matching shoes.
Customer: I'm the customer here, I decide what's customer-y.
Employee: At least don't get two of the same foot.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
I'm ready to tell them both to put a sock in it at this stage.
Link!
He got 4 out of 10 votes.
Well done!
Argyle Clothing 6.
Employee: You may be interested in these shoes.
Customer: Ooh, these are nice. I'll take this one and that one.
Employee: It's customary to get matching shoes.
Customer: I'm the customer here, I decide what's customer-y.
Employee: At least don't get two of the same foot.
Vigilante Maelstrom.
I'm ready to tell them both to put a sock in it at this stage.
Link!
Πανδώρα:
Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie
Rayanne Graff:
Happy Easter.
IGH:
Just who was The Brigadier
ratammer:
squeak
Debs|OWA:
o/
IGH:
Wibble
Vel:
*sigh*
Emma:
Hi VR...
Princess Psycho:
Hi I am back in the UK so how are everyone been keeping. Has Fluffy had that little accident yet?
Claire:
SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR
Rayanne Graff:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Lucozade Lover:
Happy New Year!
Crinkle-Cut Beatroot:
Happy new year <3
Claire:
BOXSHOUT
Rayanne Graff:
Happy Easter.
Emma:
So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.
Emma:
I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.
Emma:
I think it will be going offline around the end of May
Emma:
It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.
Emma:
A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.