CELEBRITY MULLETS

Obviously Pat Sharp

*Is smug to have beaten Martin to it*

Dennis Waterman in the Sweeney.

also, bon Jovi. bu they ain't got em now. pff.

A little story about the legend, Pat Sharp (not my doing, can't take credit)


Everything was going great for Pat. Ever since he had had his new "mullet" haircut life was going great. Even though he had only just finished his 12-year children's TV presenting course he had already been offered a job. ITV had asked him to present a TV show for the kids with the catchy title "House of gaiety and merriment" . The pilot show was great and to Pat's delight there were literally tens of kids wanting to appear on it. After a successful first series the name was changed to the even snappier title "Funhouse" . People liked this show even more as two cabbage-powered go-karts were introduced. Two cheerleading twins called Melanie and Martina also appeared alongside Pat to help with the adding up. The two twins quickly fell in love with Pat because of the size of his mullet.

A few years later Pat found a rival. An up and coming presenter called Neil Buchanen had launched a successful series called "Finders Keepers" . This show proved a big hit even though it was exactly the same as Funhouse but with a different title. Pat's ratings began to drop until a stupid chicken was introduced to tell the contestants that they had won a prize. Finders Keepers just couldn't compete and had to be scrapped. To make the show even better Pat thought of introducing an actual funhouse that the children could run around in and injure themselves in. Before this the contestants simply ran around a small shed. The show was invincible; nothing could hurt Pat and his mullet.


A Typical scene from The Funhouse

After a while mullets were no longer popular and Pat looked like a complete tosser. He decided to cut his hair. This was his biggest mistake and transformed him into the loser he is today. A "Compelling new drama from the BBC" was made to fight back against Funhouse. It was a stupid story about a boy with an actual pig for a heart. Pat couldn't compete. Everyone likes pigs more than chickens and Pat no longer had his mullet of power. He was doomed. The shows ratings plummeted and the two twins left Pat for the pig heart boy.

Pat had nothing left to live for, contestants were forced to appear on the show by a man with a fork. If they ran away he would gouge their eyes out with it. Some chose to live with no eyes than to be a contestant. The children hated him. One day during the filming of one of the episodes Pat tried to drown himself in the ball pool. However this didn't work and he got up again. The crowd booed and chucked bricks at him. Next he tried to jump in front of one of the go-karts, this also failed because it ran out of cabbages just before it hit him. The only way left was to jump in front of the stupid sledge thing that everyone hated. This time, much to the pleasure of the crowd, it worked. Pat flew into lots of different places. Funhouse was no longer a whole lot of fun and the only prizes to be won were various pieces of Pat Sharpe. However Pat did use his body and his brain because he wanted to play the game. The children also used Pat's body and his brain to throw at nearby cameramen.

The morale of this story is that Pat Sharpe is a loser and everyone hates him. Especially his mullet.

I can't remember what the twins were called

Ah yes, it's all coming back to me now....

/i always used to shout at the screen during the car bit collecting the tokens... utter idiots, some of them.

I wanted those prizes so badly.

haha......i'm actually chuckling away. whoever wrote that funhouse story is a genius. what? it's all true? even the fork bit? oh.....it explains a lot.....

still fun house...it was FABULOUS! I still remember the theme tune, even now......"fun house, do do do do do, do do do do do" how I loved it.

do do do DO, do do DO do, do do do dah! (that was the bit at the end of each challenge)

Before I left school, we were shown a video on job interviews from the Eighties and there was a guy on there with a dodgy mullet.

Pat Cash and Richard Madeley.

hilarious.

he can't let anyone else have the final word. in fact, not the final word. just ANY word.

hehe, he always does. fun to watch tho.