Hi VR, it's been quite a while since I started a thread and I realise I've been extremely inactive on this site over the past, well, couple of years, I guess and that's in no way related to anybody here, although you
are all massive sh*ts, obviously
That said, I feel like a bit of a rant/update is in order and although you may not care if you've read this far you'll probably finish now, let's be honest
Some may know I was in a very serious long-term relationship I entered into when I was 18 (my first proper g/f). That ended about 2 months ago and it was about as good a conclusion to a 7 and a half year relationship as one could hope for; basically, as cliched as it sounds, we wanted different things - her living together, marriage and kids (probably in that order) and me, well, not. Not sure exactly why, but that's my problem. She was an amazing girlfriend and the first part of the rant is that why did I not feel like I wanted the next logical step with someone I cared so much for? It bothers me. Secondly, why do I not regret the decision massively, like I half-hoped I would? What the feck is wrong with me? I'm nothing special and had a fit as f*ck girlfriend who adored me, understood me and I'm now alone because I decided I didn't want all the normal stuff people do want with people they care about as much as I did. It also feels worse than anything I could imagine to have destroyed someone who I cared about so much, even if I feel I did it for all the right reasons.
Anyway, those demons will probably come to a head at some point and I'll probably just explode or something but the other part of my rant is about being single, something I've not experienced since before I was technically an adult! I shouldn't moan about it because I've chosen the road myself and now I must walk it, or rather, awkwardly amble up it, probably embarrassing myself at every junction. There's another girl...I must stress she only came into light post-relationship but there is, undeniably
another girl. She's another quite ridiculously hot one too, who I have great chemistry with and erm, stuff. It's coming to a head but I don't know if I want it as I feel horrible moving on knowing my ex is still hurting so bad. I realise that I am coming across as a tw*t here "yeah, I had a great girlfriend who I dumped and I'm moaning about it and now I have another attractive girl on the cards and I'm moaning about that too", but my life as always been so simple and stress free and I always ignored things and now my life feels like a somewhat subdued episode of Skins. Bloody hell.
Anyway, I'm out, not sure what, if anything I want in in response to this but hey, good to be back properly and hope I can catch up with some of you lot online a bit more and maybe even meet up at a meet or something, be nice to meet some of you ugly lot in person, so keep me posted about meets!