I hate my life.

I hate my life.

Not the kind of hate where you get really angry. No. I don't have the energy to be angry. I just hate my life, full stop.

What's the point in being angry about it? That gets you nowhere. In fact, nothing gets you anywhere, ever.

Ordinarily, I would mumble this to myself as I lay in bed staring at the blackness of night. However, you are here, and so am I.

I have no future at the moment. Not in education, employment, relationship, I can even see some of my long term friendships coming to a closure rather soon.

I'm not after sympathy. Preferably, a solution. Preferably even....you can all join me in misery. After all....misery loves company, and you're welcome at the home of the blues.

Some of you have known love, some haven't. Some have known disconnection from society and reality, some haven't. Some of you, won't really understand what I mean, but think you do.

What fun.

Um, so yes. I do hate my life. I have for a while now, for more than just a while. I don't actively talk to even my closest of friends about it, because it's awkward and unresolvable.

One of the problems, is that I don't care enough about certain things. For example, I bet you all care about getting a job. Well sure, I want happiness, worldly goods, but....a job? The whole premise of a job, is something you don't enjoy doing.

I understand....that people do something they don't enjoy, because it is offset by something they enjoy far more. For example, continuing to live.

But, beyond biologically living, are you really living, spending most of your life doing something you don't enjoy, surrounded by people you don't like?

I worked in an office for a year, not much granted, but that's how I feel about it. Don't tell me that your experience is different. If you had a nice time working with your fellow man, then YOU'RE the person I didn't like at that office. The sort of person who gets along with everyone because they're all on the same wavelength.

Girls into cosmetics, guys into cars.

Not me.

This goes under rants, I think. But...it's more than just a rant. You, my lovely stranger, know a little about me, that some of my best friends do not.

Now, go have a cup of tea and watch the news, or...whatever.

All I want to say is that you SHOULD be angry.

Angry is good. You should be f*cking p*ssed off that you currently have a life that you hate. And because you are so p*ssed off you should do everything you can think of to change it. And everything anyone else thinks of for that matter, if you are currently lacking inspiration.

What are you waiting for exactly? No-one is going to arrive at your door and hand you a billion squid. You're right that some people spend their whole lives making money, and not enjoying their lives. But on the other hand you need money to stay alive and to be able to do those things you enjoy. And there are good jobs out there, I'm not sure where you got the whole 'all jobs are sh*t' idea from.

Quote: Tuco, Sept 2009

Quote: Jingle, Sept 2009

All I want to say is that you SHOULD be angry.

Angry is good. You should be f*cking p*ssed off that you currently have a life that you hate. And because you are so p*ssed off you should do everything you can think of to change it. And everything anyone else thinks of for that matter, if you are currently lacking inspiration.

What are you waiting for exactly? No-one is going to arrive at your door and hand you a billion squid. You're right that some people spend their whole lives making money, and not enjoying their lives. But on the other hand you need money to stay alive and to be able to do those things you enjoy. And there are good jobs out there, I'm not sure where you got the whole 'all jobs are sh*t' idea from.

He isn't angry. At. All. He's apathetic.

...Yeah. That was the point I was trying to make? Apathy sucks.

Quote: Claire, Aug 2009

YOU have to make the effort. That is the solution. If you stare at the walls saying how much you hate life then you aren't doing anything constructive. If you hate it, change it. Find out what your good qualities are, and use them. (...) You get one life and what's the point in it if you don't do what YOU want to do?

Quite true, quite true. Sometimes I get up in the morning and think about how to change things. But...I'm at a loss for how. As for good qualities, well I can be nice sometimes, and I learn by doing. Not exactly qualities, but there you go. Not really much to work with...lol. However, you make an excellent point, and I'm sure you will go far in life!

Quote: Claire, Aug 2009

You can say "Ohhh, what's the point in work? It makes me miserable" but it doesn't have to. There are jobs which you can enjoy, but you're the one who has to decide what you want to do with your life. Nobody else can do it for you. If you don't like offices, cross it off your list.

The definition of work (at least in my eyes) is doing something that you don't enjoy doing. If it's something you do enjoy doing, it's not work it's play. It may be effort, but it's still fun, it's still "play". I can't imagine any job that will pay me to "play", and I can't imagine myself enjoying anything that could be called "work". Sure, I'd enjoy the money and what I can buy with it, but I'd still be spending 27% of my week doing something I don't enjoy. That's somewhere in the reigon of 11 years of my future life thrown away doing something I don't want to be doing.

I see what you mean. Work can be fun, sure. But that's if you're like everybody else, and follow the same ethos as everybody else. What if you don't...what if you're....deviant.

Quote: Claire, Aug 2009

If you can't find anyone you really get along with, I hate to say it but you have a problem, because you're surrounded by about 20 here at least. It's you that has to make the effort. If you don't, don't whine about it.

Ok, so I can get on with some people. Still, that doesn't help. They are all off living their lives, and who can blame them, they are doing what they believe to be right, and fitting in with society in their ways. It's good for them.

Quote: Claire, Aug 2009

Really think about what you'd do in your wildest dreams and GO FOR IT.

I'm an idealist. My wildest dreams will never come true, and they probably shouldn't.

Quote: Jingle, Sept 2009

Angry is good. You should be f*cking p*ssed off that you currently have a life that you hate. And because you are so p*ssed off you should do everything you can think of to change it. And everything anyone else thinks of for that matter, if you are currently lacking inspiration. (...) you need money to stay alive and to be able to do those things you enjoy. And there are good jobs out there,

I like the way you think, you'll go far. Thank you very much for your input, I'll be thinking about it, and in fact everything said here.

Quote: Jingle, Sept 2009

I'm not sure where you got the whole 'all jobs are sh*t' idea from.

On this small point, as I explained above, jobs are work and work is never fun.

Quote: Winston Zeddemore, Sept 2009

Oh and how can belittle people who enjoy their work?

I've not belittled anything. If anything, I've pointed out that there are more people who think your way than mine.

Quote: Claire, Sept 2009

I think this guy's already disappeared from VR again

You said that only a few days after I made my first post Have patience, I used to visit forums every single day when I was 15, but I've relaxed a bit nowadays.

Anyway...you're all quite right, thank you for your time and more importantly your thoughts

Quote: lauf of bread, Sept 2009

Quote: Obinice, Sept 2009

What if you don't...what if you're....deviant.

What does that even mean?

It means he gets results, you stupid chief!

To answer the thread title, if you hateyourlife then change it.

Nothing's ever been gained by a whinge. And if you don't want to work, then don't. Don't contribute to society. Don't get the money. Just don't. If it makes you happy, then be happy. If it doesn't, again, do something about it.

And get a haircut and have a shave.

Quote: Das Buroski, Sept 2009

Quote: Tuco, Sept 2009

Quote: Das Buroski, Sept 2009

Just to throw a spanner in the works.

Its not always as simple as 'finding a job you like'

Myself for example, I don't like settling in one role or job for more than a couple of years, I get bored easily so look to move onto the next big thing. Not bad if you are in a firm where you can move from role to role. However, thats a luxury that isn't always available.

Hell, its only in the last two weeks I got myself into a situation where I may be able to do just that. Prior to this I've jumped from role to role, job to job, career to career.

Even before I start at Zen I'm already planning ahead and looking for the next shift in employer.

This said.. I'm actually happier doing this, it keeps me on my toes and keeps me learning and fresh.. You just need to find an approach and a line of short term/long term work that can hold your attention for a while.. Or, if you can't do that, fall in with people who you get on with. Even in the mind numbing BT call centre job I had, I was kept sane by my workmates who were, luckily, a decent bunch.

Correct. But unless you're willing to try you really are f*cked, and you sir are a tryer and you have now progressed, you're life reminds me of the first level of Altered Beast, filled with the undead and a giant head shooting tree monster at the end.

You know whats weird? I actually encountered a giant head shooting tree monster the other week... Nice chap, bit odd, mind... Might invite him over at some point.

You are correct however, I am very trying.

From my brief time living with you and the many years knowing you, your problem (i really did try and think of a better word) is that you've too many ideas and ambitions going around your head, and it seems to effect you when they don't materialise for whatever reason. Even in the 7 months we lived in that house, there was an abnormal number of ideas floating between the two of us in terms of hobbies, start ups, progressions etc, and it bummed us both out when they all piled up and nothing got done.

You put more effort into projects and aspirations than almost anyone else I know, but the sheer volume of things you take on with good faith seems to bog you down at times, and you're a chap who hates not being able materialise his plans (rightly so). Of course, lately this has started to turn around, and you've taken a step forward in your aims.

This isn't a criticism or attack on your character by the way, and I don't think you'll take it as one, but needed to make that clear. Anyways, I'm guilty of the exact same thing.

Quote: Das Buroski, Sept 2009

Quote: Obinice, Sept 2009

Quote: Jingle, Sept 2009

I'm not sure where you got the whole 'all jobs are sh*t' idea from.

On this small point, as I explained above, jobs are work and work is never fun.

Is the wrong answer. Some work can be, it just depends on what you consider to be fun - see my point about my job, my work in IT. Its something I enjoy and find interesting and dare I say, often fun, because its where my interests lie. We're a vast and complex society, their is pretty much a career in every area imaginable, you just need to look for it or to create it if it doesn't exist. You'd be surprised just how easy it is to do.

I don't think I'm explaining properly, I think that's where this problem lies.

When I had a job, for about a year, I hated it. It wasn't just because I didn't enjoy what I was doing. The job itself wasn't exactly the problem.

The problem was well...a few things. Firstly, they sat me in a room with 6 other people I had nothing in common with. Even if I had had something in common with them, I still don't like working around other people, unless they are long time close friends (of which I have very few, like most people). If I want to do some work, I go to my room where I can be on my own. It makes me uncomfortable to do stuff like that around other people.

I'm uncomfortable around a great many people. Checkout people, strangers on the phone, bus drivers, any situation where I have to interact with people outside my normal circle of family and friends really. Some interactions upset me more than others, possibly because some of them hold more responsibility than others (e.g if I muck up my interaction with the bus driver, he'll kick me off the bus and I won't get to where I'm going on time, etc). I'll mention responsibility in a moment.

The telephone. I had a telephone at my desk. For the most part, I didn't have to use it. Occasionally however, I would have to pick the phone up for someone else, or make a call myself. I hated this. I lost sleep over it. Whenever I'm on the phone, unless I'm completely comfortable around whoever's in the room with me (this does not include my parents even) I HAVE to leave the room and be on my own while I'm on the phone.

So imagine me being chained to a desk whilst on the phone, not only having to handle whatever is going on through the phone line to someone else, but also having to take ontop of that, the fact that I'm surrounded by other people who can all hear exactly what I'm saying, and see exactly what I'm doing. NIGHTMARE.

Also, there was the responsibility. I don't mind having responsibility in some areas. Basically, it's like being needed. Someone needs you, you're responsible for something (if you see what I mean?). If a friend asks me to do something, or look after something, or whatever, that's okay. The reason being, that if I mess up, while it may be bad to some degree, it's not as bad as messing up something you have responsibility in in work.

If you mess up in work, they fire you. You loose your income, you could end up homeless. Every day you go into work knowing that you could do something, or a series of things over time, that could cost you your life. That's the extreme, but it's still perfectly possible. In the very least, it could easilly cost you your job, which can cause all sorts of problems in the short term, and very possibly the long term too.

So even if I were doing something I might otherwise enjoy doing (fixing computers and getting paid for it, that sounds sweet to me), the other factors make it wildly not worth it. I spent a year stressed, loosing sleep, and having a generally crappy time in work, and then worrying about work while I was at home, for the reasons I've listed above. Not all the time sure, I went out once a week with two or three of my friends to relieve my stress. It worked. Somehow, the moment I stepped into that place I was happy again, But then the next day...well you can guess.

The only way I can see myself being happy in work, is if I get my own room to myself, and no matter how many times I fail, I won't get sacked. That's obviously never going to happen lol

So I know of course I'll have to get a job, I'm looking for one now though I doubt I'll find one any time soon. But perhaps now you can see why I'm sure that no matter what job it is, I won't enjoy it, I'll loose sleep, I'll be stressed, I won't be happy at all.

People have told me things like "you'll get used to it", I can almost hear you typing those words now, lol. It's said most especially when it comes to the telephone thing. But I was there for a year, and I never got used to it, which is a shame I guess, life would have been easier if I had.

Quote: Kid A, Sept 2009

I'm sorry Dave but your insistence that 'work=bad' is just stupid, there is no other way to describe it.

If everyone believed that murder was good, and in fact required to live life (as everyone sees work, for the most part), and I was the only person who thought murder was bad, and didn't enjoy doing it, would that make me wrong?

The odds are highly against me that I am right. If you go off the overwhelming consensus of the world, then murder is a good, required thing. It's all opinion, of course.

So you think work is a nice thing, I think it isn't a nice thing because of the kind of person I am, and the kinds of experiences I've had. These are our opinions, neither of them are stupid opinions, they are simply different opinions, each with their own merit.

Quote: lauf of bread, Sept 2009

Oh, a dictionary definition, how insightful...

Please don't take that tone with me, I've done nothing to provoke it You asked me what it meant even though you knew it would be far easier to look up a definition for yourself. I indulged you, looked up an accurate definition of the word and linked you to it.

I'm not sure how much more I could have done to describe what the word means that would be useful, other than to give that simple and concise definition.

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So I hope now that you can understand a little more why I strongly dislike the whole working thing, and from that you can gleam part of the reason at least, as to why I'm not too happy with life.

P.S I'm bad at taking what I mean and putting it into words, so my apologies if it's hard for me to get the right point across sometimes

Quote: Claire, Sept 2009

I'm so f*cking confused.

The lightswitch again?