Times Like These

I have had a f*cking terrible day and I need to get a few things of my chest.

I don't know who's aware of it and who isn't but I've been through some f*cking horrible sh*t. The type that has left me on anti-depressants and having regular meetings with a councillor. About a week ago something came up during a counciling session that I'll admit I need to face up to, I just don't want to. It's very big, very scary to me and is something I don't feel comfortable discussing, either with the councillor or online as I don't like the idea of some faceless strangers picking over my scabs. Anyway, since it came up I haven't been able to sleep, I keep 'forgetting' to eat and I keep having panic attacks. I thought I'd beaten this particular little problem but obviously I was wrong.

I've thought about bringing it up with my best friends at college but I'm not happy dumping my crap on them, especially since I know for a fact that they have their own crap to deal with.

How the f*ck do I get past this whole not being able to talk to anyone thing? I couldn't even admit to my best friend about liking a guy until after she got me drunk and told me that his brother fancied me and asked if I was interested. If it takes that much to get me to admit to something normal to someone I trust how am I meant to talk about the worst moments of my life. I can't f*cking do it and just writing about all this has got me in tears

I just want to say, no matter what you need to talk about, I'll always listen, be it on here or face-to-face