I havent done this in ages made a thread here

Well, to be fair you have had a lot to deal with in the past year... for anyone to deal with. Even adults would be having a tough time of it, so just take things a little step at a time. It sounds like you need to rebuild yourself and give yourself a break. You're not weak in my opinion, but you're struggling to deal with demands that would be hard on anyone, let alone a 12 year old boy. It's not like you've turned to street crime for attention or anything like that. Just don't be so hard on yourself.

*hugs*

to be honest I think you've managed to cope relatively well considering everything that's gone on in your life recently.

Have you had much therapy/counselling for things? having someone professional to talk to could be a real help to you.

*also hugs*

Embarass yourself?? No embarassing yourself in public is having your skirt blow up in front of the boys schools entire rugby team. Though being a boy yourself I guess you wouldn't know anything about that...although maybe you do,I don't know we don't know each other very well but don't worry there is NOTHING WRONG with a little cross dressing, if thats what you wanna do you go for it!
Ok I think I got a little lost somewhere there...
ANYWAY
I don't know what you've been through this year, and I don't need to know, but I know I don't hate you (and I'm a very hateful person). I hope you feel better soon.

and if everyone else is doing it.... *hugs*

I'll second THAT!

Not that cross dressing or the liking off is a big part of my life.

Quote: madame_pseudonym

Suuuuure  

Hmmmmm well there is this one guy....but thats his 'artistic flamboyant and theatrical' streak...

Is he wearing clingfilm???
Even so he makes a much better woman than I do. Only one thing for it *dons moustache and overalls and goes to work down the mines*

I've always found cross-dressing to be extremely liberating. One day, I'm gonna go onstage in a wedding dress

I entered a cross dressing competition while on a school trip in the Lake District.  Sadly I lost mainly because I had a bit of stubble on my chin.  The judges frowned on that and I was deemed too masculine to win.  But to hell with them I think there should be a national cross dressing day.  Men dress in frocks women in trousers.  But of course there may already be such a day.  I suppose Strawberry would know.  

But back to the point of the matter.  I'm sorry to hear that you've been ill.  Hopefully us VR types have cheered you up a little.  Get BETTER soon.

I am not into cross dressing very much.

I hope things improve for you soon

(i s'pose i might as well jump on th band wagon.

*Hugs Shane.*)

That don't sound too nice.

sick again

i feel stuopid shouldnt have said anything because now everyone will think im a tosser.

this of course means i will probably now be quiet and not feel like talking to people so dont worry or be offended if Im not speaking much.

Quote: Danger_Fourpence

Which medication are you on? Sometimes they don't always work- my dad's been on numerous sets and each time his personality changes dependent on drug combinations and doseage.
If you're still experiencing problems with it in a week or so, I'd go back to your doctors. Ok, they take time to work, but if your quality of life is affected too much, it's not that worth it.

Diazepam (Valium) only for three days I was worried but was given a low dose to see if that was enough because of being young and that.I think its working now. Thanks.

I went a bit mad again yesterday, I was much better than last time and managed to talk to dad before i cut myself and so I was more in control, spoke tio councillor today and that went okay too got talking about how I still am not over Mum dying and the effects of that, as I'm growing up I have a lot of guilt because Mum hated me being gay (she didnt hate gays as such) she was dissapointed.
we used to row a lot and she would egnore me a lot too, we didnt get on really but im sure we would have in the end its just we never got the chance to. i feel bad about that and that sometimes i would hate her. she had depression too and i used to think sometimes that she was cruel but she probably just wasnt well so i would just seethe hate at her and i feel so bad about that, she got pushd out abit too as daddy and i are so close and i can imagine she resented that, we where all close till i was 6. There was something else that impacted quite seriously on our family at about that time and she started to distance herself from me a bit I think she got ill then but i dont know exactly, but i feel terrible and i do blame myself sort of for her death as it might not have happened if id said yes to the holiday that wehad planned together before my parents split up.
i know it wasnt my fault but i feel it when im very down, i miss her so much and I got so upset because i was missing someone else i have a crush on and all the songs i heard where heartbreakingly sad ones and i felt so alone.
sorry i made a show of myself yesterday.

and now my Dads friend has died and he is all over the place and has been off his face all day and even Eastenders made him cry (dead babies have never been a favourite of his)  i really love him and im trying to be sensible and look after him but i dont know how to or what to do i feel terrible for him, and when he is like this I get scared incase i lose him , selfish but i do, he is a clever and successful wonderful kind man but sometimes he is a wreck he will be fine tomorrow he was fine after mum died it took a while but then some of this is probably that, i dont know what to do i have no way to or right to tell him what to do, im scared and small and alone and i want to make him feel better.and i cant really cope anyway at the moment have have been taking caffene pills and diet pills for about a week dont ask why i have no bloody idea. :-[