The Quotation Files

Gingernuts and milk gingernuts and milk GINGERNUTS AND MILK!!!!

I kept telling him that his lego girlfriend would only brick his heart.

It's a strapless guitar that also functions as a girdle, I call it a "g-girdle-uitar"

This music is like potato chips. I can't stop listening to it.

You're on the f*cking list now cunto

Aracnaphobia? Isn't that the one with the duck.

i doubt Darren needs rohypnol. After all, he has levitation powers and a giant inflatable phallus that tastes of apples.

The King of Rock and Roll reduced to lying to shrimp

All day my head's been like, canoe, work, canoe, tea, canoe canoe canoe.

It would be pretty cool, I think, but I am really worried it would make lots of diabetic comas.

There are 14 members of the Russian Secret Police positioned around the room disguised as wallpaper

If I kept track of all the daft things I've done, I'd have enough material for a long running sitcom called "Sh*tbag".

Quote:

If I kept track of all the daft things I've done, I'd have enough material for a long running sitcom called "Sh*tbag".

Pure gold from Phil, I sat here on the sofa and p*ssed myself laughing when I read that one.

Quote:

Does "Logarithmic" begin with E? umm, no I mean L?

There is a clothes shop near my Mum's called "Thing's"

Hey, loo at me, I';mm listening to elyon john playing tiny dancer and I'm in the sjoutbox

You admit to liking Mamma Mia and wonder why your mum thinks you're gay?

Was meant to be doing some proofreading but can't be f*cked so am playing with the bunnies instead

I am really worried I would get stuck to the fridge, I think!

Pretty, instrumental Japanese indiemo with incredible drumming.

I posted an ad approx. 3 seconds ago and I'm already getting emails asking me to prostitute myself. I don't know whether to take my phone number off or not.

WascalledbravebyalovelyIrishtraineedentistashehadsurgerytohaveatoothpulled.