The Quotation Files

Somebody set us up the BOM

if ('@ARGV' eq 'hammer') { push @UNIVERSAL

If Elvis were alive today, I think he'd really understand happy hardcore.

if I can't be happy neither can those doe-eyed w*nkpops

If I ever went on crazy drug-fuelled killing-spree I'd begin with Amstrad

if it ain't in the cookbook, i don't need to know it.

if Tare Panda likes you he will perform a gymnastic exhibition

if this programme showed a lake, I'd probably go and jump in it

IF YOU DON'T WANT PUBLIC INTERNET PICTURES DON'T MAKE THEM PUBLIC

If you know of anybody who is committing crimes against badgers

If you think this is flexible, try our routing solutions!

If you're lazy but get by because you're smart, we'd like to hear from you

Ikea's finest

imperial ennui

In 2007 we celebrate the first 50 years of space.

in a nuts kind of way, that giant red c*ck platformer's quite good.

in text there's a thin line between weeping and cackling

In the future there will be people in flying cars. Looking for chickens.

Incedndiary Goblin or Flaming Yeti? Choose now!

incompressib OR whinge OR semiserious OR cryesthesia OR rissoid

inculcated with the idea that they won't ever grow old

indents of evil

information wants to be anthropomorphized

Inside the box, nothing is funny

Intelligent Speech