Old Ellis poems (i dont write em like i used to)

Memorys;nasal,inner,visionary and repressed.

my nose remembers;

emptied bowels and singed hair,
p*ss stained mattresses,
and pools of blood splattered on the linoleum.
P*ss running down my leg,
cowering in my sh*t
pungent STINKING fear

my inner child remembers;

being raped while watching bodies dismembered
on p*ss stained mattresses.
Then being beaten on frozen linoleum
p*ss running down my leg,
cowering im my sh*t,
wishing i would be killed.

my visonary mind remembers;

haunting faces melted by blow torches,
tied up and raped,made to eat your sh*t.
Cut burnt and kicked,
watching murder but DETATCHED
like a screen.
But no censorship in my eyes now,
i see their screams.

my repressed memory has retained;

I cannot remember my birthdays,
only when i was five,
I cannot remember any holidays,
I cannot remember most of my childhood friends.
I cannot remember most of my education.
I cannot remember ever feeling sane,
I cannot remember ever feeling safe.
I cannot remember the happy long summers of my youth.
PLEASE GOD
PLEASE TELL ME THEY DID EXIST.


ellis hewison.






D; Pressed Flowers.

My flowers grow backwards
sinking delicate petals
back
into the dark earth
screaming
crying
fearing their birth.



ellis hewison

keep on writing it helps to get the pain out, not that I"m an expert or anything