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propane is un-american

Things that make me laugh but probably no one else would find funny

Posted In: Spam. Reading This Thread:

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

12^th May 2011 at 1:22 pm

I aim to misbehave

Boss: (while holding a book about soil mechanics) This book was.... errr... (notices something in the book)
My inner monolog:... passed down to me by my father... and his father before him. It has been part of my family for generations. And now... it's really outdated. This was when people thought the Earth was flat

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts

12^th May 2011 at 3:41 pm

Looking forward to seeing this thread get filled, Barry.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

12^th May 2011 at 4:02 pm

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Delirium Tremens, May 2011

Looking forward to seeing this thread get filled, Barry.

This thread is for everyone. Otherwise I would have called it "Another of Barry's threads that he hopes a spambot will post in to say they like his stuff"

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

13^th May 2011 at 1:22 am

I aim to misbehave

Satan: Mwahaha! I am the most evil being ever created!
God: Oh yeah? *zzaapp*
Satan: Did you just.... no.... you wouldn't...
God: I would. And I did.

Religion Teacher millions of years later: And that's why we have nerves in our teeth.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

13^th May 2011 at 7:55 am

I aim to misbehave

Jedward beat off stiff competition last night. And by competition, I mean each others d*cks.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts

13^th May 2011 at 7:51 pm

Brother: I'm not sure if Tesco's going to have my drink.
Me: It's a super-market, Joe. It's only vulnerabilities are kryptonite and the apathy of the people who work there.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

14^th May 2011 at 5:23 pm

I aim to misbehave

Saw this on Twitter. Talk about bad timing

LoonyPandora: F*ck, some guy chucked himself off the roof of our building...
(Another guy I know about 10 seconds later): Here I come ba dum ba dum ba dum

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Claire

| 15,814 posts

14^th May 2011 at 8:52 pm

Darren is most certainly not my god!

Griff
21:20
Yeah. Tony bit drunk

Claira
21:34
Who's tony?

Griff
21:41
Tiny I meant

Coloured Lilac And Insults Rarely E(Anymore)

Quote: Claire, Jun 2005

Basically, I'm just mangling and regurgitating what everyone's already said.

I’m really glad that the quote in my signature is a teenager.
Joint best Mod 2009. Officials.

Winner of most longstanding mod in the history of the internet. Or at least most resillient/lifelacking VR staff member 2012.

Bob Flapper

| 5,002 posts

15^th May 2011 at 8:37 am

Me?!

Yeah, I used to go out with a 50 year old woman, who was an ex prostitute.

She decided to pack in when business started to dry up.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

16^th May 2011 at 9:58 pm

I aim to misbehave

Inspired by Real Time with Bill Maher (an example of which can be seen below) I've come up with a few of my own. Don't think I'd be able to come up with enough for a full thread though.

New Rule: If you give your 8 year old daughter botox injections, you're not allowed to claim that she likes it. Of course she looks happy. You've botoxed her. That's like claiming Suicidey The Clown loves his job because he has a smile painted on his face.

New Rule: If you're a Christian and you support the death penalty; Congratulations, you're going to Hell! Forgiveness, Love One Another, Thou Shalt Not Kill... These are fundamental points to being a Christian, which are the complete opposite of what the death penalty is. You can't worship someone who was put to death while claiming bad people should be put to death.

Edited by Dinglebutt May 2011

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts

17^th May 2011 at 10:07 am

More appropriate to move this from that thread to this.

Quote: The King Of Limbs, May 2011

Seeing Frank Turner tonight, very excited about that.

How did it go?

HOW DID IT GO...?

It went like this...

Carpet Remnant

| 11,715 posts

17^th May 2011 at 10:47 am

I have no idea why you posted that clip so I guess this thread is appropriate

The gig was excellent.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

17^th May 2011 at 3:22 pm

I aim to misbehave

This actually made me laugh a lot:

Suicidey The Clown: Roses are red

Suicidey The Clown: Violets are blue

Suicidey The Clown: Happy birthday to you

Suicidey The Clown: Oh, I messed it up

Suicidey The Clown: I'm such a failure...

Rayanne Graff: ... in the pants department.

Suicidey The Clown: *sobs*

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Paula

| 4,556 posts

17^th May 2011 at 3:58 pm

King of Knights

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

17^th May 2011 at 9:25 pm

I aim to misbehave

New Rule: If you go to a protest because you don't support the British Monarch visiting Ireland, you're not allowed to support British football teams. You're supposed to be dreaming of 'Ireland: United', not Manchester United.

(Apparently there was a guy seen in the protests on Sky News at the protests in Dublin wearing a Man U jersey)

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Animal

| 32,547 posts

17^th May 2011 at 9:26 pm

http://www.dasburros.com

The world isn't run by weapons anymore, or energy, or money. It's run by little rabbits and zeroes, little bits of data. It's all just electrons.

Cycling Antics

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts

18^th May 2011 at 4:17 pm

"...and I'm a complimentary therapist."
"Oh, how lovely for you!"

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

19^th May 2011 at 7:07 pm

I aim to misbehave

A XXXXX within a XXXXX within a XXXXX. Just like in that film.... Layer Cake

Edited by Dinglebutt May 2011

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

19^th May 2011 at 9:03 pm

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Suicidey The Clown, May 2011

A XXXXX within a XXXXX within a XXXXX. Just like in that film.... Layer Cake

Whoops, accidently deleted the post I had about Facebook. Ah well...

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

1^st Jun 2011 at 9:11 pm

I aim to misbehave

On The Apprentice: You're Fired!, Dara O'Briain asked Sarah Millican about ways to get your voice heard in meetings.

That's Sarah Millican; a woman with one of the most annoying f*cking voices in the world.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts

1^st Jun 2011 at 10:35 pm

Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011

On The Apprentice: You're Fired!, Dara O'Briain asked Sarah Millican about ways to get your voice heard in meetings.

That's Sarah Millican; a woman with one of the most annoying f*cking voices in the world.

Funnily enough, she has a voice not a million miles awayfrom our Lmc.

I Cunt Spell

| 4,650 posts

1^st Jun 2011 at 11:17 pm

Quote: Delirium Tremens, Jun 2011

Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011
On The Apprentice: You're Fired!, Dara O'Briain asked Sarah Millican about ways to get your voice heard in meetings.

That's Sarah Millican; a woman with one of the most annoying f*cking voices in the world.

Funnily enough, she has a voice not a million miles awayfrom our Lmc.

Slander.

My voice is like honey dripping from a unicorns eyelid.

Dr. Harold Shipman

| 10,547 posts

1^st Jun 2011 at 11:59 pm

Old people CLEARLY need more painkillers.

Quote: I C*nt Spell, Jun 2011

Quote: Delirium Tremens, Jun 2011
Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011
On The Apprentice: You're Fired!, Dara O'Briain asked Sarah Millican about ways to get your voice heard in meetings.

That's Sarah Millican; a woman with one of the most annoying f*cking voices in the world.

Funnily enough, she has a voice not a million miles awayfrom our Lmc.

Slander.

My voice is like honey dripping from a unicorns eyelid.

You mean the noise it makes once the honey drips into the eye of the unicorn and blinds it?

LoonyPandora

| 17,916 posts

2^nd Jun 2011 at 12:00 am

Daft Cow?

Quote: Delirium Tremens, Jun 2011

Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011
On The Apprentice: You're Fired!, Dara O'Briain asked Sarah Millican about ways to get your voice heard in meetings.

That's Sarah Millican; a woman with one of the most annoying f*cking voices in the world.

Funnily enough, she has a voice not a million miles awayfrom our Lmc.

Nah, Laura is more like Vicky from Geordie Shore.

I Cunt Spell

| 4,650 posts

2^nd Jun 2011 at 12:17 am

Quote: Dr. Harold Shipman, Jun 2011

Quote: I C*nt Spell, Jun 2011
Quote: Delirium Tremens, Jun 2011
Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011
On The Apprentice: You're Fired!, Dara O'Briain asked Sarah Millican about ways to get your voice heard in meetings.

That's Sarah Millican; a woman with one of the most annoying f*cking voices in the world.

Funnily enough, she has a voice not a million miles awayfrom our Lmc.

Slander.

My voice is like honey dripping from a unicorns eyelid.

You mean the noise it makes once the honey drips into the eye of the unicorn and blinds it?

Blinded in a sea of audio delight.

The Geordie Shore comparison doesn't make me feel any better.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

2^nd Jun 2011 at 6:44 am

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Delirium Tremens, Jun 2011

Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011
On The Apprentice: You're Fired!, Dara O'Briain asked Sarah Millican about ways to get your voice heard in meetings.

That's Sarah Millican; a woman with one of the most annoying f*cking voices in the world.

Funnily enough, she has a voice not a million miles awayfrom our Lmc.

Yeah, but at least Laura is funny.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Vel

| 23,203 posts

2^nd Jun 2011 at 6:54 am

Marry me?

Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011

Quote: Delirium Tremens, Jun 2011
Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011
On The Apprentice: You're Fired!, Dara O'Briain asked Sarah Millican about ways to get your voice heard in meetings.

That's Sarah Millican; a woman with one of the most annoying f*cking voices in the world.

Funnily enough, she has a voice not a million miles awayfrom our Lmc.

Yeah, but at least Laura is funny.

She's not orange either.

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Carpet Remnant

| 11,715 posts

2^nd Jun 2011 at 7:34 am

I am going to continue to live my life as if my initial assumption that 'Geordie Shore' was just a funny bit of word play that Tim Vine came up with was correct and refuse to face the horrifying reality.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

2^nd Jun 2011 at 8:09 am

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Zing, Jun 2011

Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011
Quote: Delirium Tremens, Jun 2011
Quote: Suicidey The Clown, Jun 2011
On The Apprentice: You're Fired!, Dara O'Briain asked Sarah Millican about ways to get your voice heard in meetings.

That's Sarah Millican; a woman with one of the most annoying f*cking voices in the world.

Funnily enough, she has a voice not a million miles awayfrom our Lmc.

Yeah, but at least Laura is funny.

She's not orange either.

Nor does it appear that her nose and chin are having a race to see who can escape from her face.

I apologise for that rhyme. It was bad. It was a crime.
I would have made a better one but I didn't have the time.
I'm working hard to save a nickel and a dime.
So when I retire, I can lay on a beach sipping some Gin and Lime

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Roxannie

| 12,431 posts

3^rd Jun 2011 at 3:04 pm

Carpet Remnant

| 11,715 posts

3^rd Jun 2011 at 3:12 pm

Quote: Annie, Jun 2011

This is in the wrong thread.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

3^rd Jun 2011 at 5:33 pm

I aim to misbehave

chocolate... chocolate... chocolate... chocolate... chocolate... chocolate... chocolate... chocolate... chocolate... LIME!

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Animal

| 32,547 posts

3^rd Jun 2011 at 10:10 pm

Quote: "Enigmatic_Shrew

|1305206542|839910|1307113933"]Quote: Annie, Jun 2011

This is in the wrong thread.

Agreed.

Though Lizards fart? I did not know this…

http://www.dasburros.com

The world isn't run by weapons anymore, or energy, or money. It's run by little rabbits and zeroes, little bits of data. It's all just electrons.

Cycling Antics

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

4^th Jun 2011 at 8:26 am

I aim to misbehave

I'm from Meath,

but don't hold that against me

...........

or I'll f*cking kill you

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Pope of Chilli Town

| 12,089 posts

4^th Jun 2011 at 5:29 pm

Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011

I'm from Meath, but don't hold that against me ........... or I'll f*cking kill you

Typical CULCHIE.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

4^th Jun 2011 at 5:34 pm

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Jun 2011

Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011
I'm from Meath, but don't hold that against me ........... or I'll f*cking kill you

Typical CULCHIE.

Typical PLASTIC PADDY.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Pope of Chilli Town

| 12,089 posts

4^th Jun 2011 at 5:36 pm

Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011

Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Jun 2011
Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011
I'm from Meath, but don't hold that against me ........... or I'll f*cking kill you

Typical CULCHIE.

Typical PLASTIC PADDY.

Pffft I'm an ENGLISHMAN.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

4^th Jun 2011 at 6:51 pm

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Jun 2011

Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011
Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Jun 2011
Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011
I'm from Meath, but don't hold that against me ........... or I'll f*cking kill you

Typical CULCHIE.

Typical PLASTIC PADDY.

Pffft I'm an ENGLISHMAN.

Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Mar 2011

As a plastic paddy like meself, get BBC4 on, Christy Moore Live, belting stuff, not listened to him in years

CHECK.... MATE!

Now king me.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Pope of Chilli Town

| 12,089 posts

4^th Jun 2011 at 7:37 pm

Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011

Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Jun 2011
Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011
Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Jun 2011
Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011
I'm from Meath, but don't hold that against me ........... or I'll f*cking kill you

Typical CULCHIE.

Typical PLASTIC PADDY.

Pffft I'm an ENGLISHMAN.

Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Mar 2011
As a plastic paddy like meself, get BBC4 on, Christy Moore Live, belting stuff, not listened to him in years

CHECK.... MATE!

Now king me.

I <3

[http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/culture/files/2011/04/queeny.jpg]

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

4^th Jun 2011 at 7:58 pm

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Jun 2011

Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011
Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Jun 2011
Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011
Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Jun 2011
Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011
I'm from Meath, but don't hold that against me ........... or I'll f*cking kill you

Typical CULCHIE.

Typical PLASTIC PADDY.

Pffft I'm an ENGLISHMAN.

Quote: Super Nintendo Chalmers, Mar 2011
As a plastic paddy like meself, get BBC4 on, Christy Moore Live, belting stuff, not listened to him in years

CHECK.... MATE!

Now king me.

I <3

U <3

[http://cocosays.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/drag-queen.jpg]

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

16^th Jun 2011 at 8:46 am

I aim to misbehave

In the Catholic Religion I was born and raised
On a pew is where I sat for an hour on Sundays
Chilling out, half asleep, about to drool, while dreaming of football playing for my school
When I realised the priest, who was supposed to be good
Was preaching pure sh*te to my neighbourhood
I never believed in God, but I was never scared
I don't need God in my life, so why should I care?

I never went to Mass, except when an occasion was near
Like at Christmas to hear about the Gold, Frankensense and Myhrr
My appearance at Mass was really rare
I don't really believe and I don't really care.

I saw the lies in the church, the fear and the hate
On the Census I said "Yo God, see you later!"
Wake up on Sunday mornings and just lie there
I'm an atheist now. I don't care.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts

16^th Jun 2011 at 11:22 am

Quote: Space Monkey, Jun 2011

In the Catholic Religion I was born and raised
On a pew is where I sat for an hour on Sundays
Chilling out, half asleep, about to drool, while dreaming of football playing for my school
When I realised the priest, who was supposed to be good
Was preaching pure sh*te to my neighbourhood
I never believed in God, but I was never scared
I don't need God in my life, so why should I care?

I never went to Mass, except when an occasion was near
Like at Christmas to hear about the Gold, Frankensense and Myhrr
My appearance at Mass was really rare
I don't really believe and I don't really care.

I saw the lies in the church, the fear and the hate
On the Census I said "Yo God, see you later!"
Wake up on Sunday mornings and just lie there
I'm an atheist now. I don't care.

Now, record it and put it up against the backing track and I can die a happy man.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

16^th Jun 2011 at 9:52 pm

I aim to misbehave

Either my nephew's Tickle-Me-Elmo needs new batteries, or someone needs to stay with Elmo during the night to make sure he doesn't do something stupid.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

3^rd Aug 2011 at 7:06 am

I aim to misbehave

My cousin's girlfriend (who sadly had two miscarriages in the past two years) liked a group on Facebook called 'Angels and Spirits'. On my Facebook app on my phone this morning, I clicked on Angels and Spirits, and it came up "No Content"

I'm sorry, but as an atheist, that's f*cking funny

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Roxannie

| 12,431 posts

30^th Aug 2011 at 4:49 pm

dressing up and talking like someone on Jeremy Kyle innit

[http://i55.tinypic.com/ify7up.jpg]

you aint got no right to judge me yeah, cos you don't know nuffink about me

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

14^th Sept 2011 at 3:43 pm

I aim to misbehave

Boss: Sorry for constantly asking you to photocopy stuff the last few days
Me: Nah, no problem
Boss: It's just one less thing I have to worry about

What it feels like-

Boss: Sorry for constantly punching you in the face
Me: No no, please, continue doing so
Boss: It's just it helps take my mind off the weather forecast

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

26^th Sept 2011 at 8:11 pm

I aim to misbehave

"It's always been my dream to be a top chef and have my own restaurant in New York. It's all I've ever aspired to in my life".

"That's great. Now I want you to act like you've been shrunk down to miniature size and are in a pinball machine, and you have to whack the pinball with a spoon as big as you"

(re: the opening to Hells Kitchen USA)

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

29^th Sept 2011 at 2:40 pm

River Phoenix

i wanted to find out what was on TV so i pressed Guide on my remote control. When i looked at the description of Rio Grande, it said that John Wayne is a commander who finds his ex-wife as much of a danger as the marauding Apaches. i misread danger as clanger.

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

19^th Jan 2012 at 2:50 pm

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Penn, Jan 2012

Quote: Rayanne Graff, Jan 2012
(It annoys me when i walk somewhere and someone overtakes me. i'm too competitive. i think i get that from my aunt.)

Who's more competitive? You or her?

Sorry, this is still making me laugh. I'm very funny.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

19^th Jan 2012 at 2:51 pm

River Phoenix

Quote: Penn, Jan 2012

Quote: Penn, Jan 2012
Quote: Rayanne Graff, Jan 2012
(It annoys me when i walk somewhere and someone overtakes me. i'm too competitive. i think i get that from my aunt.)

Who's more competitive? You or her?

Sorry, this is still making me laugh. I'm very funny.

Well, someone has to think so, i s'pose.

Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

IGH: Just who was The Brigadier

ratammer: squeak

Debs|OWA: o/

IGH: Wibble

Vel: *sigh*

Emma: Hi VR...

Princess Psycho: Hi I am back in the UK so how are everyone been keeping. Has Fluffy had that little accident yet?

Claire: SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR

Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Lucozade Lover: Happy New Year!

Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3

Claire: BOXSHOUT

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.

Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.

Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May

Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.

Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

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