20^th April 2024, 12:05 am

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tbh, it's just a psychosemantic thing

Things that make you p*ss yourself laughing

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the doc

| 23,161 posts

4^th Mar 2012 at 9:36 am

Having had all of three cocktails last night, Ania came home and barfed up half a gallon.

She woke me up at eight o'clock this morning with, mooooooo? I don't feel very well. My stomach hurts and I feel sick and my mouth is dry and my eyes are sore. And I was just like, yes dear, it's called a hangover. This is how I feel every weekend.

Maybe not funny to you lot but I thought it was unbelievably cute.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

19^th Mar 2012 at 1:14 pm

River Phoenix

Quote: the doc, Mar 2012

Having had all of three cocktails last night, Ania came home and barfed up half a gallon.

She woke me up at eight o'clock this morning with, mooooooo? I don't feel very well. My stomach hurts and I feel sick and my mouth is dry and my eyes are sore. And I was just like, yes dear, it's called a hangover. This is how I feel every weekend.

Maybe not funny to you lot but I thought it was unbelievably cute.

Maybe i'll never understand the point of drinking; it sounds like too much hassle.

Anyroad, i was out with the fiancé today and i saw a plumbing van. It mentioned various services and included a phrase that made me feel bemused but not like kissing myself laughing. * The phrase was lady plumbers; i think it sounds quaint.

* Just like on page 11.

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

20^th Mar 2012 at 11:22 am

I aim to misbehave

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Πανδώρα

| 15,327 posts

20^th Mar 2012 at 11:37 am

*burp*

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

20^th Mar 2012 at 11:51 am

I aim to misbehave

Hands down the funniest thing I've seen in ages. Was literally in tears laughing for about 10 minutes

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Pope of Chilli Town

| 12,089 posts

20^th Mar 2012 at 2:04 pm

Quote: Penn, Mar 2012

God Batman is a f*cking c*nt, file with Spiderman.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

20^th Mar 2012 at 2:29 pm

I aim to misbehave

Batman could beat Omar Little in a fight.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Pope of Chilli Town

| 12,089 posts

20^th Mar 2012 at 2:32 pm

Quote: Penn, Mar 2012

Batman could beat Omar Little in a fight.

They'd probably end up having really fruity gay sex with Wayne cracking one liners all the way.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

20^th Mar 2012 at 2:37 pm

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Gob, Mar 2012

Quote: Penn, Mar 2012
Batman could beat Omar Little in a fight.

They'd probably end up having really fruity gay sex with Wayne cracking one liners all the way.

"Some days I just can't get it into your bum"

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

28^th Mar 2012 at 8:39 pm

River Phoenix

Herding

the doc

| 23,161 posts

9^th Apr 2012 at 3:54 pm

Bit mean, this, but I've just read a poem called "I've killed so many trees using thousands of tissues to wipe away your tears....."

Every bit as profound, insightful and well-written as it sounds

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

9^th Apr 2012 at 3:58 pm

River Phoenix

i think whoever wrote that is mean to trees.

the doc

| 23,161 posts

12^th May 2012 at 4:27 pm

Not the song, but I just read the top comment on that and completely cracked up.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

16^th May 2012 at 9:23 pm

I aim to misbehave

Kate: Well, how do I look?
Oswald: On the Oswald Scale, I'd say you're a .... 6
Kate: A 6?!
Drew: No, that's good. The Oswald Scale only goes up to 6
Oswald: Yeah. And it starts at 3.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

23^rd May 2012 at 2:07 pm

I aim to misbehave

My boss on the phone:

"So where's your honeymoon?..... No, wait..... I mean..... Who is your solicitor?"

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

24^th May 2012 at 7:38 pm

River Phoenix

Inappropriate playgrounds

Jimmy

| 4,271 posts

24^th May 2012 at 10:09 pm

Guy at work told me a friend of his wife's used to be a fluffer. When asked, he informed me a fluffer is somebody who w*nks pornstars off in between takes to keep them hard.

I like Jesus but he loves me so it's awkward.

James

| 315 posts

24^th May 2012 at 10:46 pm

Surely viagra would be easier on the wrists. But I suppose a temp on six pounds an hour is less expensive than the blue pill.

James

| 315 posts

24^th May 2012 at 10:54 pm

Also - it's really, really bizarre that pornography is legal but prostitution is not. That's not fair at all. What's the actual distinction? If I were a hooker, I'd just make sure I had a cheap camera recording when I was working. That way, if the police turned up, I'd take the d*ck out of my mouth and tell them that I was a performer.

Πανδώρα

| 15,327 posts

25^th May 2012 at 1:20 am

Well that just depends where you are... Prostitution itself isn't illegal in the UK, just kerb crawling and loitering in a public place to arrange it, pimping or running a brothel or such and such will all get you nicked, but sex for money... that's just fine & dandy.

*burp*

Roxannie

| 12,431 posts

25^th May 2012 at 7:56 am

sounds like somebody's been doing her research

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

25^th May 2012 at 8:16 am

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Hare, May 2012

Well that just depends where you are... Prostitution itself isn't illegal in the UK, just kerb crawling and loitering in a public place to arrange it, pimping or running a brothel or such and such will all get you nicked, but sex for money... that's just fine & dandy.

*books flights to England*

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Jimmy

| 4,271 posts

25^th May 2012 at 9:49 am

Quote: Walt Flanagan, May 2012

Surely viagra would be easier on the wrists. But I suppose a temp on six pounds an hour is less expensive than the blue pill.

Apparently they take viagra on top of getting fluffed. Now there's a sentence and a half.

Quote: Steve-Dave, May 2012

Quote: Hare, May 2012
Well that just depends where you are... Prostitution itself isn't illegal in the UK, just kerb crawling and loitering in a public place to arrange it, pimping or running a brothel or such and such will all get you nicked, but sex for money... that's just fine & dandy.

*books flights to England*

There's no need Barry! I think it's the same in Ireland. Basically you can prostitute away as long as it's in private and no brothels, pimps, priests, kerbs, crawling, children, and any form of beast I'd imagine, are involved.

I like Jesus but he loves me so it's awkward.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

25^th May 2012 at 10:01 am

I aim to misbehave

Quote: Jimmy, May 2012

There's no need Barry! I think it's the same in Ireland. Basically you can prostitute away as long as it's in private and no brothels, pimps, priests, kerbs, crawling, children, and any form of beast I'd imagine, are involved.

Cool, cos I need the money.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

James

| 315 posts

25^th May 2012 at 10:27 am

Quote: Jimmy, May 2012

Quote: Walt Flanagan, May 2012
Surely viagra would be easier on the wrists. But I suppose a temp on six pounds an hour is less expensive than the blue pill.

Apparently they take viagra on top of getting fluffed. Now there's a sentence and a half.

Huh, apparently you have to be aroused in the first place for viagra to work. That makes it a little less useful for loveless 30 year marriages.

Jimmy

| 4,271 posts

26^th May 2012 at 12:05 am

Quote: Steve-Dave, May 2012

Quote: Jimmy, May 2012
There's no need Barry! I think it's the same in Ireland. Basically you can prostitute away as long as it's in private and no brothels, pimps, priests, kerbs, crawling, children, and any form of beast I'd imagine, are involved.

Cool, cos I need the money.

You should try fluffing.

I like Jesus but he loves me so it's awkward.

Πανδώρα

| 15,327 posts

26^th May 2012 at 1:33 am

Quote: Anniemal, May 2012

sounds like somebody's been doing her research

It's always an option

Of course, it'd be more likely people would pay me not to sleep with them, but just so long as i get paid

*burp*

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

28^th May 2012 at 11:40 am

I aim to misbehave

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

29^th May 2012 at 10:02 am

River Phoenix

i watched the "celebrity" version of Come Dine With Me on Sunday. When Kerry Katona first appeared, she was introduced as a singer. i thought it was funny as that isn't what she's most famous for.

the doc

| 23,161 posts

31^st May 2012 at 10:26 am

You nerds are probably well ahead of me and this may well be old hat but Sidecar sent me this t'other day and everyone at work was sat staring at me cos I was sit at me desk with tears of laughtere rolling down my face. Watch it all, the guacamole bit near the end is brilliant. There are stacks of these, and the food looks ace as well.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

31^st May 2012 at 2:38 pm

River Phoenix

i don't think i've heard of that before. So it's not like when you made a thread about the Darwin Awards in 2010.

the doc

| 23,161 posts

31^st May 2012 at 2:42 pm

Quote: Rayanne Graff, May 2012

i don't think i've heard of that before. So it's not like when you made a thread about the Darwin Awards in 2010.

Funny you should say that Straws, cos that's exactly what I had in mind

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

31^st May 2012 at 2:48 pm

River Phoenix

Great minds think alike, eh?

the doc

| 23,161 posts

31^st May 2012 at 2:54 pm

Quote: Rayanne Graff, May 2012

Great minds think alike, eh?

Yep

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

2^nd Jun 2012 at 9:38 am

River Phoenix

Product names

Town names

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

2^nd Jun 2012 at 9:51 pm

River Phoenix

My love

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

2^nd Jun 2012 at 9:58 pm

River Phoenix

Painful to read

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

3^rd Jun 2012 at 11:29 am

River Phoenix

Video

Vel

| 23,203 posts

3^rd Jun 2012 at 5:50 pm

Marry me?

I do an awesome rendition of the Troll Song (I am Glad).

Yes I do. Tollollolloll lollolololol trololololol.

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

4^th Jun 2012 at 1:45 pm

River Phoenix

Swastika flowers

Flag

the doc

| 23,161 posts

5^th Jun 2012 at 9:48 pm

Quote: Rayanne Graff, Jun 2012

Painful to read

Is that real?! Only made it through the first three or four and then the grammar started making my eyes melt and I had to sack it right off and skip to the bottom.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

5^th Jun 2012 at 9:50 pm

River Phoenix

As far as i know, it is.

Edit: i guess it could be faked, though. It's not something i know much about.

Edited by Rayanne Graff Jun 2012

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

8^th Jun 2012 at 12:54 pm

River Phoenix

35 puns

26 pictures

the doc

| 23,161 posts

9^th Jun 2012 at 9:55 pm

The work of a master satirist.....

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/David_Cameron

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

9^th Jun 2012 at 10:09 pm

River Phoenix

Nickelback

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

11^th Jun 2012 at 5:05 pm

River Phoenix

hitler

Stabbing hunchbacks

the doc

| 23,161 posts

13^th Jun 2012 at 5:36 pm

Ronaldo has just missed an absolute sitter

the doc

| 23,161 posts

13^th Jun 2012 at 5:41 pm

And Denmark equalised two minutes later

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Jun 2012 at 6:24 pm

River Phoenix

[http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/s720x720/536595_10151559056420440_592465439_23988779_2137935972_n.jpg]

the doc

| 23,161 posts

13^th Jun 2012 at 6:31 pm

The person that wrote this really, really knows what they're talking about.....

Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie

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IGH: Just who was The Brigadier

ratammer: squeak

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Vel: *sigh*

Emma: Hi VR...

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Claire: SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR

Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Lucozade Lover: Happy New Year!

Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3

Claire: BOXSHOUT

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.

Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.

Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May

Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.

Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

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